Hoping to Adopt

I’m not really big into roller coaster rides, but there is one particular ride at Lagoon Amusement Park in Utah that I really enjoy. It’s not really a roller coaster since it doesn’t follow a track, but it sure is thrilling. What happens is they strap you into your seat and raise you high high high into the air. Getting raised up and up and up is exciting, watching the people on the ground getting smaller and smaller, because we all knew what soon would be happening. Other than the seat you are sitting on and the bars holding you firmly in place, you have nothing else around you. Your feet dangle lazily beneath you without a floor to rest them on. The concept of the ride is simple. You free fall… [more]

Why do adoption grant organizations want you to share your story anyway? Adoption grant organizations are looking for compelling stories that makes a family stand out from the rest of the other applicants. Five tips to help you share your story for adoption grant applications: 1.  What sets you apart? – Before you begin writing your family story, sit down, brainstorm and write down at least three to five areas that set your family apart from other families.  Every family has unique qualities and circumstances.  You need to consider all areas of your life and focus on what makes your story compelling and personal.  Think beyond what your life and finances look like on paper.  For example: children with special needs, urgency of child's medical or emotional needs, your small business successes or… [more]

To go along with my last post about profiles, I thought it could be helpful to pick apart the things that my wife and I considered with our own profile pictures (we have been through the process twice). We went with a very large adoption agency where there were close to 1,000 profiles listed, but we were lucky and were chosen relatively quickly with both of our adoptions. These are the things that we told ourselves when we made decisions about our first profile picture, before we had any children: First of all, the setting is interesting. Being on the rocks is more interesting than being on the couch. Next, we wanted our picture to say something about us. We wanted… [more]

What types of things should you consider when you’re choosing the perfect picture for your adoption profile? I’ve sat in on a lot of panels and when birthparents are asked what drew them to their adoptive couple, they usually gave an answer similar to, “Something just felt right about them.” Don’t get me wrong, I’m a Christian and I believe firmly in the importance of inspiration and prayer when birthparents are making decisions like this, but let’s face it- birthparents are humans and every human needs a little help in directing their attention. So how do we direct their attention? First things first- make your profile something that STANDS OUT from the rest. That is the absolute most important thing. Stand out! Stand out! Stand out! Ask yourself what makes your picture… [more]

I was only planning on doing two parts to this Facebook question, but something interesting happened after I wrote my last post. The birthmom from our second adoption came over to visit. She used to come over a lot, but one day told us that she needed to move on and that she wouldn’t be in contact for a while. We had developed a pretty close relationship, having her visit our home often before the birth as well as after, so we missed seeing her and visiting with her. She needed the time and the space though. She had a new job and a new boyfriend, and she needed to find a way to move on. With our first adoption, we were friends with our birthmom on Facebook. There were a few… [more]

In my last blog post, I talked about how we were glad that we used Facebook to get to know our first birthmom, but we decided not to do so with our second adoption so that we could talk more freely about what was going on. Another big reason for us avoiding Facebook the second time was that Facebook is a breeding ground for drama. We found that out the hard way. The birthfather from our first adoption was completely disinterested about the baby during the pregnancy, but about a month after our little boy was born (once his mother found out), all of a sudden he started to cause a lot of drama and problems. We had become Facebook friends with a lot of the contacts from our birthmother’s home… [more]

To Facebook or not to Facebook? That is the question. Of course, this post is probably only relative to those considering open adoption. I’m not talking about whether or not it’s a good idea to get your name out there via Facebook or not. It’s a great idea. If you’re going with the type of agency that has you waiting for a birthmother to contact you, then you should do everything that you can think of to “market” yourself, and that should probably include Facebook. What I’m talking about is whether or not to be friends with your birthmother, or birthfather, or other people on Facebook. When my wife and I adopted the first time, we tried to keep our identity a secret from the… [more]

One night, back before I met my wife, I was half asleep when my roommate came in and started to get ready for bed. “Turn off the hall light once you’re done, k?” I said with my eyes half open. “What?” he was confused. “The hall light,” I repeated. “Turn off the hall light before you go to bed.” “I can’t understand you, man,” he said. “Before you go to bed, turn off the hall light,” I repeated, a little louder this time. “No, I mean I don’t speak Spanish,” he laughed. “Say it in English.” I didn’t realize I was speaking Spanish. I mean, I obviously know that I speak Spanish, but for some reason my mouth had switched stations on me and didn’t tell my brain. It’s… [more]

In the last ten years and through the completion of three international adoptions, I learned a great deal about adoption financial planning and resources.  I would like to share some of what I learned with you. Here are the three things that you must know before looking for adoption grants: 1.  Application Eligibility Criteria Nearly all adoption grant organizations have some sort of application criteria.  What are eligibility criteria anyway?  Eligibility criterion says who is eligible to apply and who is NOT eligible to apply.  If you are single and applying to an organization that only offers grants to married couples, then you would be wasting your time.  If you are not a Christian and you are applying to an organization that only offers grant… [more]

How much nesting is considered overboard? Most couples when they decide the time is right to have a child get a nine month waiting period.  As adoptive parents, we are constantly bombarded with the more open ended question: when?   It's frustrating enough not knowing how long, let alone friends and family asking all the time. My husband and I have been working with our open adoption agency in New Jersey for a year, and between the oodles of paperwork, parenting courses, and home study, it took us until this August to finally get our profile turned in.  We've been stuck in "limbo" for the past three months waiting for "the call."  I call it "limbo" because to me, it's been the hardest step of… [more]