Hoping to Adopt

The Adoption Profile Scrapbook is one of those things about adoption that you either love or hate. You have to create a book that "sells" your family to expectant parents. You want it to communicate all that is good and fun about you. Some people freak out about this. Me? I love it! I started planning our profile scrapbook as soon as I knew we needed one. In 2005, before I had even heard of digital scrapbooking, I selected pictures and printed contact sheets (using Picasa for the first time - yay!). In my adoption notebook (hmm... that should be another post), I drew each page. I wrote down how big each picture was supposed to be. I… [more]

As you know if you read my post on Wednesday, Jack's Adoption Day occurred. This year, he wanted to bring in pictures of his brother and sister. Jack's birthmother has two children whom she parents. Jack loves to talk about them. I thought, if he was going to bring in a picture of his birth family, the other kids might have questions. So, I went to school with him. I was dreading the question, "Why did she keep those two but not Jack?" I did not get that question, thank God. One of the teachers asked age-appropriate questions, and I answered them fairly well. She asked: "What does adoption mean?" I answered: "All babies grow in someone's belly. Jack didn't grow… [more]

In the last month, I've read blog posts by adult adoptees asking "why would anyone celebrate an Adoption Day?". Their theory is that the Adoption Day is the day that the child lost their family and culture. Why would we want to celebrate that? I can't speak for other families, but I will share with you why we celebrate Jack's Adoption Day. We were in the hospital when Jack was born. We took him "home" (to our hotel) when he was 3 days old. We brought him home to California when he was 11 days old. We endured the three home visits with our social worker. During this time, although we were, for all intents and purposes, Jack's parents, legally, we still had to prove ourselves. We had temporary custody with the… [more]

Sorry I've been MIA for the past week. In addition to a software release at my day job, we were preparing for our first home study visit. A lot of new prospective adoptive parents freak out at the thought of the home study visits. They want to make everything spotless. They wonder if they have to have the house baby-proofed, or the child's room already set up. I can't speak for foster care. The rules for foster care vary from state to state, and, from what I understand, how closely the rules are followed can depend on the social worker you're assigned. I can tell you that for domestic infant adoption, you can stop freaking out. The first time we went into… [more]

The Open Adoption Roundtable is a series of occasional writing prompts about open adoption. It's designed to showcase of the diversity of thought and experience in the open adoption community. This month's prompt: We each interacted with at least one professional during the adoption process (agency, lawyer, facilitator, consultant, hospital social worker, etc.). What was one thing that they did that was most supportive of open adoption? What one thing was least supportive? As I tend to want the bad news before the good news, I'm answering the second question first. S wanted us at the hospital, so we were there. I saw how terribly the hospital treated her. She went for an "emergency" C-section, and Jack ended up in the NICU. No one would… [more]

Yesterday, we went to the package store to have our home study risk release notarized. We then stuffed a thick bunch of papers into a Priority Mail envelope. When weighed, it came to 1.62 pounds. We mailed it off. Almost all of our home study paperwork is done! No, that 1.62 pounds did not constitute all of the paperwork. We're waiting on three items:

• Guardianship form
• Life insurance for me (but that's another post)
• Financial statement (which must include the life insurance)

If a couple is trying to conceive, they may or may not discuss it at work. If a woman gets pregnant, no one needs to know until she decides they do (or until she can no longer hide behind the easels in meetings). Once the powers that be do know someone is expecting, they can generally count on when the action is going to happen. Sure, babies can be born prematurely. Bed rest happens. A mom who says she couldn't live without her job decides she really can't live without seeing her baby's firsts. But overall, pregnancy is predictable, once you get there. Not so with adoption. As part of our home study, my husband and I had to… [more]

At present, my family has health insurance through COBRA through my husband's former employer. We're both contractors now, so we don't have health insurance benefits. I've been asking the ex-employer, through my husband, for information for quite some time now, and she finally gave us the news that we have to start paying for COBRA and that will be $1100 per month. I have CRPS, a form of neuropathy, and that is on the Decline list for most major insurers. I can't get individual coverage. In addition, I take a medication for CRPS that costs $1200 per month. COBRA covers all but $45 of it. My husband and my son, however, are relatively healthy. I could insure… [more]

The Open Adoption Roundtable is a series of occasional writing prompts about open adoption. It's designed to showcase of the diversity of thought and experience in the open adoption community. From Susiebook: Are there any things that you don’t want the other members of your triad to know—or that you don’t want to know about them? I’ve heard first mothers talk about not sharing their birth stories with adoptive parents because those are for the adoptees and for themselves only. I've also heard of adoptees concealing their reunions from adoptive parents so as not to cause them pain. What don’t you want shared in your adoptive relationships? I don't want Jack's birthmother to know that I write… [more]

According to our home study agency: As of September 2008, it is required that every prospective adoptive parent and any adult family member/co-habitant, obtain an FBI clearance, in addition to the Department of Justice (DOJ) / Child Abuse Clearance. To obtain FBI clearances you must have a Live Scan done. The Live Scan involves going to a government approved Live Scan location and having high tech pictures of your fingerprints taken. The prints are immediately sent to the FBI. The Request for Live Scan is a form in triplicate. One copy stays with the person who takes the Live Scan. One copy goes to the Department of Social Services  or equivalent agency, and one copy stays with you. If you type "Live Scan" and your… [more]