If you are waiting for your first child to join your home, you might wonder how different your life will become once you are a parent. I do not believe there really is a way that you can prepare yourself other than just by diving in when it happens.

Parenting books are a good idea because they give you an idea about what to expect. With adopting a newborn, I had basic questions about how frequently to feed the baby and how much sleep he needed. I am not sure if there are book references available regarding these kinds of questions for older children,... more

If you have a pet, then he has a big change coming when your adopted child joins your home. In most cases, you will not really know what to expect from your pet. Some pets will ignore the new addition. Others will be afraid. Still others will be oblivious. Until you know how your adopted child and the pet will act around each other, make sure that all interactions are closely supervised. This is for the protection of both your adopted child and your pet.

When I brought my 18-day-old adopted son home, both of my dogs were curious. I allowed them to... more

On my post, Adoptive Breastfeeding: Some Final Words, a reader left the following comment:

We are adopting a infant or toddler internationally. The things I've been reading suggest babies that have started bottle feeding, to be transitioned with bottles that have nipple similar to the mother's breast. I was wondering what others have experienced adopting internationally?

We adopted a newborn domestically, so I do not have... more

When a woman conceives a baby, she generally starts to love her baby at some point during the pregnancy. Some women feel very strong love for the unborn baby right away, so much so that they are devastated by an early miscarriage. Other women might not feel very strong love for the baby until after the baby is born, even into the early weeks of the baby's life. Many parenting books state that, for some women, the love grows out of caring for the baby and might not be present right at birth.

Considering an adopted child does not grow in an adoptive mother's body,... more

When I was waiting to adopt, I wrestled with how much time and energy I should invest into preparing to parent. I am a planner by nature, so if I had been pregnant, I would have worked out a schedule for learning all I needed to know by the time the baby was born. When you adopt, you have no idea when that might be.

I worked with a man who got a call at work to hop on the next plane to Las Vegas because his son had just been born. The placing mother had contacted the adoption agency after the baby was born, and she selected the adoptive parents after looking through profiles... more

During my series on Deciding to Adopt a Child, a reader left the following comment regarding adoptees searching for their birthfamily:

How can you protect a child from being too idealistic about their biological parents when just about everyone has an image in their head of perfect ideal parents? I just hope I can give my children enough of a foundation to help them... It's something that is on my mind often. – Chromesthesia from Deciding... more

During my series on Deciding to Adopt a Child, a reader left the following comment regarding adoptees searching for their birthfamily:

I'd support my child whole heartedly, but I'd want to protect them too. Especially if they came from another culture and country and have to return with this loss of language and behaving like a person that was raised there. I'd want to find a way to prepare them for that. In the case of foster care or addiction, depending, I'd want to fight these folks to keep... more

During the home study process, you will be asked when (or if) you plan to tell your child that you adopted him. When is the best time to tell a child about his adoption? Let me start by telling you when not to tell a child about his adoption – on his wedding day!!

During my series on Deciding to Adopt a Child, a reader left the following comment:

When this topic came up in my home study class, the... more

When you do believe an adopted child should be told about his adoption? Do you believe that an adopted child should be told at all? These are questions that you will need to work through as part of the home study process.

I found it overwhelming to have to make these kinds of decisions before I was even a parent, but I am so grateful that we covered this topic as part of our home study. By the time my son came along, I knew exactly how I planned to cover the topic of adoption. I felt well equipped... more

One surreal part of nesting for an adoptive mother is having a baby shower. Attending baby showers was emotionally painful for me while waiting to become a parent. Then, with one phone call matching me with a placing mother, I was suddenly the guest of honor, receiving baby presents while sitting there with my “flat tummy.” It was bizarre.

An adoptive mother friend of mine feared that she would never have a baby shower because she might not have enough notice about a match to put one together. I assured... more