Adopted children should have the opportunity to "own" their life's story. Making a Lifebook with or for your child that documents his or her experiences and history gives him or her something tangible to hold on to that says "this is who I am". A Lifebook is a cumulative piece of work that you can start for you child before he or she even arrives home and continue to work on as he or she matures into a young adult.

Steps:

1. Choose what type of Lifebook you want to make.

In order to get started, you will need to choose the style of Lifebook you wish to make. You have three main options available to you: a scrapbook style Lifebook, a digital... more

This was the scene last night:

"I hate you! You are an idiot! I just want to be alone! I want a new family!"

This, from my 4-year-old. Kind of interesting that Sharlene just wrote a post about this very thing from newly adopted or foster kids - our family is living proof that it can come from the mouth of a child who's been with his adoptive family for over 3 years.

Here's what preceded his outburst.

Big J and Little J were waiting for my husband to finish... more

Hey - read this: "Treat adoption as a small deal" - an article by John Rosemond in the Wichita Eagle.

Rosemond argues that if you don't make adoption a BIG DEAL to kids, then it won't become a big deal to them later.

Logical, no?

Well, errrrmmmm, here's how he puts that reasonable hypothesis into action:

I am not, by the way, advocating that adopted children not be informed. I simply believe they should not be told until it is either necessary or they are old enough to truly comprehend the implications, ask intelligent questions, and participate in a rational discussion of... more

In my book, motherhood=guilt. Actually, life in this modern world=guilt, but life in this modern world is too broad a topic for this blog.

I am trying hard NOT to feel guilty. I try to think other, more affirmational and warm and cozy things about myself instead, but sometimes it's hard.

But there are some things I refuse to feel guilty about. Please, I'm not trying to start anything here - I am just really OVER these things.

1. I refuse to feel guilty about shopping at Walmart. There's quite the brouhaha going on right now in my community... more

Cross posted in the Russian Adoption blog...

I am writing today about something I know a lot about: what it's like to be the child of an alcoholic. I don't think I've talked about this in this blog before since I haven't had occasion to. Two things have happened, though, that made me want to write. One is that I read something in salon.com about a woman worried about her alcoholic father (here's the article, and here's a letter I wrote in response - the... more

On the Russian adoption listservs that I read, frequently people will indicate that they were alarmed because when they first met their new child "they felt nothing." Well, I'm sure they felt something: fear, anxiety, surprise? But they didn't feel what they expected to feel, which was an instant outpouring of love. They wonder if they've made the wrong choice or if they've accepted their referral in error.

When this happens people are quick to respond about their experiences. It seems a good amount of people don't fall in love at first sight and in fact,... more

Ahh, the epitome of American-ness. Baseball, Mom, and Apple Pie.

Every Saturday we have two out of three: I (the Mom) watch little J play t-ball (Baseball for preschoolers) in the park. If I was not on a diet :( I could even add some apple pie to the mix. Yum. Apple pie...but I digress.

Anyway, what is most interesting about my son's t-ball practice is that out of the 20 players on the two teams of 4 and 5 year olds, at least 4 of them are adopted that I can tell. There's my little punkin, two boys who look to have been adopted from somewhere in southeast Asia (and whose older brother, and African-American boy, brings them to practice), and plucky little Dylan, who... more

Did you know it's possible for a woman to breastfeed a child even if she hasn't given birth to that child? It's true! It's amazing! And it happens all the time.

Technically called Induced Lactation, breastfeeding an adopted child typically works best if the child is an infant when adopted, although it's possible to nurse a child adopted at a slightly later age as long as the conditions are right.

Why bother to breastfeed? Kay Green, an... more

Here's part 1 of this entry.

Kay Green, an adoptive mother who sucessfully breastfed her baby, continues:

I got milk drops 10 days after starting the pumping/herbs routine. By 4 weeks I was getting enough to freeze an ounce a day. By the time she was born I was freezing 2-3 ounces a day.

When she was born I nursed first, 10 minutes each side, switching sides 4 times (YES 45 minutes of nursing) then I would give her 1-2 OZ of formula or donated breast milk in a Lact-aid supplementer. The Lactaid allows the formula to go thru a tiny... more

I was really lucky with my first son in that the two doctors who delivered him were also the doctors who did his well baby check ups. They were both family practice physicians and so could handle it all. Eventually we switched to someone a little more local to us but we were with them for a couple of years. I really didn't feel the need to go to a special pediatrician for a healthy baby. Family practice did us just fine.

But for Little J, our second son who was adopted from Russia at 15 months, we really needed to find more of a specialist. Children adopted internationally need lots more tests and titers and poking and prodding than a healthy infant either born or adopted domestically.... more