When I put together my first adoptive parent profile, I made the mistake of seeing our connection with the placing mother as more of a “business arrangement.” She had a baby who needed a home, and I had a home that needed a baby. I would show the placing mother that our home was ready for a baby, and that would be all that was needed for her to match with us. I was baffled when a year passed with no interest shown by any placing mother.

What I failed to see was that this relationship was not... more

In my post, Adoptive Parent Profiles: What to Communicate, I quoted Patricia Dischler*, author of Because I Loved You: A Birthmother’s View Of Open Adoption, as saying that placing mothers know that hopeful adoptive parents are emotionally and financially ready to raise a child.... more

In my last post, Adoptive Parent Profiles: What to Communicate, I quoted Patricia Dischler*, author of Because I Loved You: A Birthmother’s View Of Open Adoption, as saying that placing mothers know that hopeful adoptive parents are emotionally and financially ready to raise a child. The big question is whether or not... more

When you are looking at a blank sheet of paper or computer screen, it can be difficult to know how to start describing your family. How do you tell a complete stranger about your life? What things should you share, and what parts should you keep private? What does a placing mother need to know about you before choosing you to parent her child?

When I was the one looking at a blank computer screen, I thought about the things that a placing mother might be looking for. I thought about this from a logical... more

If you are adopting by matching with a placing mother, then your agency, attorney, or facilitator will probably ask you to put together an adoptive parent profile. Your profile will be shown to placing mothers, along with profiles created by other hopeful adoptive parents, so that the placing mother can choose the best adoptive family for her child. Since this profile is your introduction to the placing mother, you want... more

The next step was to put together a life book. For those of you who enjoy scrapbooking, this probably sounds like an exciting thing to do. For those of you who are like me and would rather clean the bathrooms than scrapbook, this was a daunting assignment. How could I possibly put into one album all that a placing mother needed to know about us?

I am a writer, not a scrapbooker. I am also a computer person. My idea of creativity is inserting clip art into a document. Even the photographs in this blog are provided by a photographer friend of... more

The next step in the process was the dreaded home study. I knew NOTHING about home studies. I did not have the first clue about what to expect. I knew nobody who had been through the process. I wish I had because I would have been able to SLEEP during this time of my life.

For those of you who have a home study looming, I’ll let you in on a little secret – they WANT to approve you. If you are an optimist, you can view this as social workers wanting to find another wonderful home to shower love on a child. If you are a pessimist, you can view... more

If you’re like most people, once you decide to adopt, you are eager to get going on the paperwork. But many people get overwhelmed quickly once they see the list of things required by the adoption agency to get the homestudy started. Here are some tips to help your homestudy go smoothly.

1. Read the Directions!

First, read every detail of the homestudy package that is supplied you by your agency. Plan to follow the instructions down to the last letter. Detail and precision is extremely important. If you don’t understand something, ask. Clarifying everything up front can literally save weeks of time. If you get things right the first time, your agency won’t have to return... more

I was just clicking around on the adoption.com website, trying to think of something to write about, when I saw an ad with the words "Find the perfect family for your child." I didn't click on the link, but I think it's a reasonable assumption that the ad was directed towards pregnant women who are considering adoption.

It made me wonder: what is the perfect family?

If you are hoping to adopt and have chosen to do so privately and domestically, you probably spend a lot of time wondering this, too. Is my family perfect, at least in the eyes of someone who is looking... more

This morning I have a job interview. Wish me luck! I really want this job but at the same time I've not been working (full time) outside the home for the past 7 1/2 years so I'm also somewhat nervous. Upsetting the apple cart could have good results...or could have bad results. Hopefully good. Financially good, at least! Getting a job outside my home will probably also cure my of my alarming tendency to jabber nonstop at anyone who happens to interrupt me during my normal solitude-filled day. Watch out, Fedex lady! Work-at-home mom on the loose!

Thinking about this job interview... more