Before we launch into the various facets of open adoption, let’s start by talking about what one is. Imagine that you have a continuum of adoption openness. On the far left, you have a completely closed adoption. The adoptive parents have absolutely no information about the birthfamily. It is like the child appeared at the adoption agency, bringing along no history whatsoever. On the far right of the continuum, you have a completely open adoption where the birthfamily is actively involved in the... more

As you can see from the past couple of blogs, open adoptions are forging new frontiers that the English language has not yet adequately labeled. As open adoptions become more common, we will need to develop terminology that respectfully captures these new types of relationships.

For those of you who are hoping to adopt, some of these discussions might sound a bit confusing. I had never even heard of an open adoption when I started the adoption process. All that I knew about adoption came from watching TV... more

One of the hardest parts of the home study was making so many decisions. When you conceive a baby, you find out that you are pregnant, and then you are going to get the baby that you birth. You don’t have to make decisions about whether the baby should be 100% one race or if it is okay for the baby to be 1/4 Hispanic or 1/2 Native American. You don’t have to decide if you will consider a baby whose birthfamily has a history of seizures or heart disease or schizophrenia. You get what you get, and that is enough. The number of decisions we had... more

I would like to start by sharing my own story. This isn’t because I enjoy talking about myself. (Well, that’s not entirely true – bloggers do enjoy talking about themselves. LOL) I want you to know that I have been where you are and that I did not go into the adoption process having all of the answers. Also, I am hoping to shed light on the many different issues that can arise along your adoption journey.

I was the “good kid” who had her entire life mapped out. I was a straight-A student. I met my husband while we were both attending a top-10... more

Taking the first steps towards adoption can be exciting, but at the same time a bit intimidating. Beginning a successful adoption journey starts by taking the time to learn about the various types of adoption programs, what the adoption process entails and educating yourself on adoption issues.

Steps:

1. Make an adoption plan.

It is important to sit down and consider what types of adoption you are open to. There are three types of adoption: Domestic, International and Fostering to Adopt. Factors such as a child's race, culture, age, background and health can all weigh into your decision. Deciding what type of child you are open to adopting... more

I spoke to one of my close friends yesterday about adoption. She is 48 and has one biological child who is 7. She's always said that she'd like another child but I think that up until a few days ago she hadn't thought about it seriously because she's a little old to be having another(biologically)...but then I told her about an adoption program I heard about out of Lesotho.

Lesotho is a very small country in southern Africa. Not many people have heard of it, but my friend lived there for two years while in the Peace Corps. When I heard... more

This month, Adoptive Families magazine has a pull-out poster: twelve great reasons to adopt. Some of their reasons are good ones ("'Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted'," "no more infertility drugs"), some are kind of silly ("Angelina did it," "take time off of work" - as if being at home with a child whom you've just adopted is a vacation! It's the work of love, of course, but definitely not a vacation).

So I've come up with my top ten reasons to adopt. Some overlap with Adoptive Families' list,... more

I got my hair cut and colored today (thank you, I do look pretty good) by a new hairstylist. My old hairstylist moved and so I'm "interviewing" new ones. I think this one will do. It cost a lot but it looks really good. When it comes to hair my cheapskate self recognizes that you often do get what you pay for.

Anyhoo, I was chatting with my new hairstylist and she asked me about my kids. I said I had two boys, so naturally she asked me if we would try for a girl. Some people this kind of thing annoys. Not me - because I really... more

I have a question for you all: where are you adopting from and why?

I have written about the pros and cons of adopting internationally as well as some things about foster-to-adopt and also open domestic adoptions, but I'd rather get my information straight from the horses' mouths, so to speak.

If we adopt again I had been thinking we'd try to do a domestic, open adoption. Largely because of the expense factor (contrary to what we were told when... more

Storkmom, a member of the adoption.com forums, generously gave me permission to repost something she wrote a couple of weeks ago about her family's semi-open adoption experience. Part 1 of her story is here.

I think it's important to show all perspectives of adoption. What "open" means to one family is not the same as what "open" means to another. In this family's case, the adoption is semi-open, chosen by Storkmom's son's birthmother. I find it interesting that... more