If you are waiting to adopt, you have probably asked, "When we will be matched?" about 300,000 times. I would have given anything to have a crystal ball tell me when the match would happen. I could have handled waiting another year if I could only know that a baby was definitely coming in twelve months. I have always dealt better with bad news than no news at all. The uncertainty can drive me crazy.

One really odd thing about newborn adoption is that your forever child could already be conceived and growing in another woman's body while you are crying into your pillow... more

What are or were your biggest challenges in adopting? The answer to this question will probably be different for different people. Here are the five biggest challenges that I hear the most frequently from adoptive parents.

Cost of Adoption

With most (non-foster) adoptions running in the five-figures, it is a wonder that anyone can adopt. Adoption is incredibly expensive, which presents a challenge to most couples. While there are a lucky (blessed?) few who can simply... more

During my series on Deciding to Adopt a Child, two readers left the following comments:

You know, Faith, the funny thing is that my family (me, my husband and son) get all those attitudes from others i.e. other people telling one of us how lucky my son is that he found a home and how saintly my husband and I are for taking in a poor hapless orphan. Other comments about how they know I'll have my "own" children one day instead of being "forced" to adopt again, and "you're lucky you could afford to adopt... more

Not every expected placement turns into an adoption. Expecting mothers choose to parent. Countries shut down their adoption programs. Foster children are returned to their birth families for one more chance. If your expected placement falls through, how will you handle the loss?

Failed adoptions happen more frequently than you might expect. I know numerous people who have had to grieve the loss of a failed adoption from all types of adoption situations.

Most of the people I know who... more

When we decided to adopt a child, my husband’s number one concern was how to afford the adoption. Most people who want to adopt a child share this concern. Considering that adoptions can cost as much as $40,000, hopeful adoptive parents are wise to be concerned about how to afford an adoption. (Foster adoption is free, so keep this in mind if you cannot afford a 5-figure adoption.)

How much money are you willing and able to spend on an adoption? The cost of adoption varies widely, depending upon which avenue you take. (See Cost... more

When you are considering whether to adopt a child, one factor to consider is how much support you will receive from family and friends. The adoption process is grueling, and you will need to lean on your family and friends as you work your way through the process. Also, when you adopt a child, you need your family and friends to embrace the child as your family. Is this going to be an issue for you?

I put together a Lack of Support in Adoption Series to discuss the issues you might encounter if... more

If you are married and want to adopt a child, you need to make sure your marriage is stable before proceeding with an adoption. You do not want to adopt a child and then have the family split apart within a couple of years. While none of us has any guarantees about how long our marriages will last, you need to go into an adoption with as stable of a marriage as possible.

Adoption.com's Self-Assessment Adoption Quiz asks the following question:

11. Do you... more

When deciding whether to adopt a child, are you and your spouse on the same page? If your answer is no, you are not alone. My favorite adoption author, Jill Smolowe, wrote a fabulous article on this topic called The Reluctant Spouse, in which she explains the many reasons why couples often fail to agree on whether to adopt a child. Her writings helped me to feel less alone when my husband and I were in very different places regarding adoption.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how... more

Raising money to adopt can be hard. With adoption costing as much as $30,000, it can be a challenge to raise the funds to adopt. There are not many people who have $30,000 lying around to use for an adoption.

Here are some ideas to consider:

Adoption Tax Credit

The adoption tax credit helps to offset the cost of an adoption. Right now, the adoption tax credit is $10,000, which means that you get a $10,000 credit on your taxes (not just a deduction). The credit phases out depending upon income, but it can really help to defray... more

A sad reality of adoption is that some hopeful adoptive parents experience failed adoptions. Failed adoptions can happen in a number of ways, including —

Child’s country halts international adoptions Legal red tape halts a foster adoption Placing mother chooses to parent her baby

Failed adoptions can be devastating to a hopeful adoptive couple. Even though the hopeful adoptive parents know that they have no legal right to parent the child, the child has grown in... more