From How to Survive Mother's Day (Top Ten List)...

2. Focus on honoring your mother or mother figure.

To the extent you can, try to take the focus off of your empty arms and, instead, focus on honoring your mother and/or mother-in-law. This is going to be harder for those of you who experience a double-whammy of having a painful relationship with your own mother or mother-in-law,... more

From How to Survive Mother's Day (Top Ten List)...

1. Limit your exposure to Mother’s Day advertisements.

The pain of Mother’s Day runs so much longer than the 24-hour period allotted to the day on your calendar. Mother’s Day is an event that is heavily advertised on television and radio, in magazines, and in store displays. You cannot get away from it completely (unless you flee the country, but... more

In my Surviving the Wait series, I quoted Cindy Lewis Dake’s book, Infertility: A Survival Guide for Couples and Those Who Love Them, as saying…

If Christmas is hard because of its obvious family overtones, then [Mother’s Day and Father’s Day] are like bombs being dropped on your life. While everyone is celebrating the women who are mothers and the men that are fathers,... more

As we move into May, the day dreaded by hopeful mothers everywhere approaches – Mother’s Day. This is the time of year in which there seems to be nowhere safe to hide. All of your favorite TV shows are peppered with sappy commercials about what to buy mom for Mother’s Day. The card aisle at Target is filled with Mother’s Day cards. Magazines feature full-page ads about Mother’s Day sales. The radio is filled with Mother’s Day commercials.

Until the day passes, you will be BOMBARDED with reminders that Mother’s Day is approaching.... more

In this series, I have been discussing issues surrounding lack of support from family and friends when you choose to adopt. Most of what I have been discussing involves the way that your family and friends treat your child. There are other ways that family and friends can fail to show support that do not directly affect the child.

A big issue for me was the people in my life who tried to “comfort” me by offering alternative ways of looking at my situation. I am a person who likes to be in control of my own life.... more

In most cases, family and friends who are unsupportive of adoption are motivated by fear of you being hurt. These people love you dearly, and they believe they see a pitfall that you are not seeing. They try to pressure you to agree with them, not because they want to “control” you but because they truly fear that you will be hurt. This happens not only with adoption but with many life decisions, such as with who you marry, what profession you choose, and any other big decision that will affect the... more

If you refuse to stand up to family and friends who are unsupportive of your decision to adopt, your child will be the one who suffers. Children who are adopted in the best of circumstances will have issues to work through surrounding their adoption. It is natural and human to ask questions like, “Why didn’t my birthmother raise me herself?” When the adoptive parents consistently show the child how much they love him and embrace him as their child in every respect, it is easier for the child to work through these issues and... more

As I mentioned in my last couple of posts, my grandparents were not supportive of our decision to adopt, but when they held my beautiful little baby in their arms for the first time, they embraced him as family. Unfortunately, not all families have this happy ending. See Hate is Not a Family Value for an adoptive mother's frustration with family members who refuse to be supportive of her daughter's adoption a year after... more

What do you do if you have family members or friends who are not supportive of your decision to adopt? This can be really tough. On the one hand, you love your family and friends and really want them to approve of the choices that you make. On the other hand, you already love this child you are hoping to adopt. How do you handle the conflict?

As I mentioned in my last post, I had to deal with this issue with my grandparents. I was surprised and hurt by their reaction to our announcement that we planned... more

When we announced our plans to adopt a baby, most people were very supportive and excited for us. People asked us lots of questions about the adoption process, and I was happy to answer them. I was so excited to be moving toward becoming a parent. However, not every person in my life was supportive of our decision to adopt. My grandparents had serious reservations about our decision and even tried to talk us out of it, even going as far as saying that perhaps it was God’s will for me to never be a mother. Boy,... more