Journaling is a good way to help you to process your feelings and emotions when you are going through a difficult time. When you have heavy emotions swirling around in your head, it can help to get them out onto paper. Your brain processes your thoughts differently when you are writing than when you are thinking or speaking. Sometimes seeing your thoughts written out on paper can help to ease the emotions behind them.

Journaling can serve more than just a therapeutic role: it can also provide valuable... more

Many people find a lot of comfort in turning to their faith in times of pain. Others struggle deeply with their faith as they wrestle with the unfairness of what they are facing in their lives. I am one of those people who bounces back and forth between the two extremes as I try to reconcile my experience with what I believe my faith represents.

Regardless of what your faith is, most religions value being kind to others. My doctor’s office has a poster that shows variations of “The Golden... more

Infertility and the adoption process take their toll on a marriage. Both processes are extremely stressful. Now that you are in “wait” mode, start repairing any damage that your marriage has suffered. Reconnect with who you were as a couple before becoming parents became the central focus of your lives.

What did you used to do together before you entered Infertility and/or Adoption Process Hades? Start doing those things again. Go out on dates on Saturday nights. Go on a picnic. Nurture your relationship and... more

Let’s face it – none of us has had a perfect life. Some of us endured painful experiences as children. Others lost loved ones through death, divorce, or abandonment. Still others have suffered from physical or emotional issues. Nobody gets through life completely unscathed. That’s a reality of the human experience.

Once a child enters your life, the focus of your life becomes your child for a very long time. You no longer have the luxury of focusing exclusively on your own issues. When a child is screaming... more

For those of you who are adopting after infertility, have you actively grieved the loss of your fertility? I used to believe that this was not necessary because I became a mother through adoption. I have learned that becoming a mother is not the same thing as overcoming infertility. Adoption cures childlessness, NOT infertility.

Alison Kathleen Whitney wrote the best description of infertility that I have ever read in a story entitled A... more

As I said an earlier blog, balance is the key to surviving the wait. Participating in hobbies brings more balance into your life. You know the saying, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”? It also makes Jack a miserable boy.

You only live your life once, so set aside some time to do the things that you enjoy. Whether it is golfing, bowling, going to the movies, or stamp-collecting, make your hobby a priority in your life. Once your child enters your life, you will have less time to do... more

In an earlier blog called Surviving the Wait, I shared the story of how volunteering helped me to survive my wait time. This is a quote from that blog:

One day, I heard some very good advice. Somebody had called into a talk radio show seeking help for her depression. The talk radio host asked, “What have you done for someone else lately?” She went on to say that the best way to pull yourself out of a depression... more

Taking care of your body will make your wait a lot easier because you will shift your focus off of your emotions and onto your body for at least part of your day. Many people harm their bodies as a way of handling painful emotions, doing everything from overeating to binge drinking to failing to provide their bodies with enough rest and sleep. Caring for your body by doing positive things, such as getting enough sleep, exercising, and doing yoga, can do wonders to help lift your spirits while you wait for your... more

Learning how to “be” means learning how to rest. It involves slowing down your mind and staying in the present.

Analyze the focus of your thoughts for any given day. Most people’s thoughts are primarily focused on the future or on the past with little time spent on the present.

Thoughts About the Future

I need to do _____. I am worried about _____. I need to prepare for ______. I will be happy when ____ happens.

Thoughts About... more

As I stated in the previous blog, achieving balance in your life is the key to surviving the wait (and any other painful experience, for that matter). No matter how miserable you are while waiting, you can still achieve some level of contentment in your life. Only you have the power to make yourself miserable 100% of the time.

The following Top Ten List provides a list of actions that you can take to achieve more balance in your life. These are things that you can start doing TODAY to better your life.... more