When my husband and I were going through the home study process, we received mixed advice about whether or not to include information about our dogs in our profile. On the one hand, we did not want an expecting mother to reject us as adoptive parents solely because we had dogs, but on the other hand, our dogs were a part of our family.

When we put our first profile together, we chose to leave the dogs out. We never lied about having pets: We simply did not... more

It is normal to feel a certain amount of anxiety after you are offered a referral of a child or a match with an expecting mother. You do not have to accept a referral or match right away. In fact, our agency told me to talk the situation over with my husband, sleep on the decision, and then let them know if we wanted to match with this expecting mother. Our agency was straightforward about the challenges of our situation, the biggest being the expecting mother's smoking throughout her pregnancy. The director wanted us to make an informed decision before agreeing to adopt... more

One issue with which many hopeful adoptive parents wrestle is whether it is okay to turn down a referral of a child or a match with an expecting mother. The short answer is yes – It is always okay to turn down a referral if you do not feel comfortable moving forward with the match. In fact, I believe it is unethical and unwise to accept a referral if you have serious reservations about the match. No one is well served if you cannot embrace the child as your own.

Many hopeful adoptive couples feel guilty about turning down a referral or a match. The adoption... more

In the following posts, I talked about how some adoption agencies charge more to adopt a Caucasian baby than they do to adopt a non-Caucasian baby:

As I stated in those posts, I do not support the practice of putting non-Caucasian babies... more

In my last post, Adoption Home Study: Child Abuser in Extended Family, I discussed the impact of having a child molester in the extended family on a person's ability to pass a home study. This post broadens the scope to having a lawbreaker of any kind in the extended family. Will you still be able to adopt if you have lawbreakers in your family?

As with having a child abuser in the extended family, the short answer to the question is yes – You can still adopt... more

Over in the Adoption Forums, I saw a question posted about issues in your family that could affect your home study. The person posting the question has a brother who was convicted of child molestation. He never molested her, and she only sees him at the family's annual Christmas party. Her question was whether having a child molester in the extended family would prevent her from being able to adopt.

The short answer to this question is no – you will not be prevented from adopting solely because a blood relative has abused children.... more

In my last post, Adoption Cost: Putting Certain Races "On Sale", I talked about the practice of some adoption agencies charging different adoption fees based upon the race of the child adopted. In most of these situations, Caucasian babies cost more money to adopt than non-Caucasian babies through the same agency. I provided arguments for and against the practice of putting non-Caucasian babies "on sale" and asked for readers' opinions. One reader left the following comment:

I... more

A controversial area of adoption is providing discounts for adopting a child of a certain race. For example, an adoption agency might charge $20,000 for the domestic private adoption of a Caucasian newborn but only $15,000 for the domestic private adoption of an African-American or biracial newborn. Is providing a discount a practical way of providing more homes for children who might not otherwise be adopted, or is this blatant racism?

Arguments For the Practice

Those who believe it is a good thing to charge different rates argue that reducing... more

A very important step in becoming an adoptive parent is the finalization of your adoption. Some adoptive parents skip this step, which is a very bad idea. Until your adoption finalization is completed, you are not your child’s legal parents.

In order to finalize an adoption, you need to comply with the laws in your state. Most states require you to have a specified number of post-placement visits from a social worker. These are home visits in which the social worker checks in to see how the family is adjusting to its new addition. For me, those visits were... more

Why is adoption so expensive? That is the million-dollar question. Some people will say it is because adoption professionals are making money off adoptions. However, many agencies are not-for-profit and seemingly have no reason to “rip off” hopeful adoptive parents. For example, I truly believe that Catholic Social Services is seeking to do what they believe is best for the child as part of a ministry for the Catholic Church.

However, even a not-for-profit adoption agency is incredibly expensive. Our agency,... more