If you are reading my blog today, you are probably looking for some emotional support. I remember how it felt to have empty arms on Christmas Day when I desperately wanted to be a mother. Even those of you who are waiting to adopt a sibling for your child still know pain, even if your arms are not empty.

Some of you are waiting to adopt children who are living in a foster home or an orphanage. I can only imagine how your heart yearns to be with your child and how it must break knowing that your child is having to spend his holiday without his forever family.... more

I spent two Christmas Eves in the "waiting to adopt" mode. The first Christmas came around about 6 months after our home study was approved. I kept hoping for a Christmas miracle in which the phone would ring, telling us that an expecting mother had chosen us to adopt her unborn baby, but that was not meant to be.

Our agency begins showing all profiles of hopeful adoptive parents to expecting mothers as soon as the home study is approved, so I had hoped that we would be matched right away. After... more

My husband and I received the call right around Thanksgiving that we were matched with a baby whose due date was right around Christmas. As you can imagine, that was one busy time. Because babies are known for coming both early and late, we had no idea when to expect our bundle of joy. And because the expecting mother would have 10 days after the baby's birth to choose to parent, we did not know whether we would be spending Christmas with our forever child or not.

We made all of the usual preparations for anyone expecting a new baby, but I was really torn about... more

When my husband and I were waiting to adopt, it was hard to decide whether to make plans in advance. On the one hand, it could take a long time to be matched with an expecting mother, so there was no point in putting our lives on hold. On the other hand, we did not want to pay a lot of money toward a vacation, only to lose our deposit if we were matched quickly.

This issue became even more of a struggle during the holiday season. Should we plan on traveling to visit family in another state for Christmas? What if we were matched at the last minute? Even worse,... more

Today is the most dreaded day of the year for hopeful adoptive mothers everywhere – Mother’s Day. Please know that you are not alone and that I have you in my thoughts and prayers today. (Birthmothers and placing mothers – You are in my thoughts and prayers today, too.) This day will pass. You might feel absolutely miserable right now as you are reading this post, but this day is going to end. When you wake up tomorrow, this day will be behind you and will not drop another emotional “bomb” on your life for... more

From How to Survive Mother's Day (Top Ten List)...

10. Lean on your faith.

When you are in pain is the perfect time to lean on your faith. Faith helps you to see a bigger picture and to find value and purpose in your struggles. I do not believe that God “causes” the painful things that happen in our lives. (I definitely do not believe that I was “divinely sterilized” for some greater... more

From How to Survive Mother's Day (Top Ten List)...

9. Spend quality time with your spouse.

Infertility and the adoption process can take a toll on a marriage. Spending time nurturing your relationship with your spouse is very important as you wait for your child to join your family. Parenting is hard work, so the stronger the foundation is for your marriage, the stronger... more

From How to Survive Mother's Day (Top Ten List)...

8. Confide in a good friend that you are struggling.

Unfortunately, not every person in your life is going to be perceptive. If you hold your feelings too close to the vest, then some of the people in your life might not realize just how badly you are hurting. Opening up to one or two close friends can bring you the comfort... more

From How to Survive Mother's Day (Top Ten List)...

7. Plan activities that you enjoy.

Now is a great time to do something fun for yourself. Whenever you go through a painful phase of your life, it is easy to forget that life is supposed to have joy in it. We slip into a mindset of “I will be happy when…” and forget that the only time we have is now.... more

From How to Survive Mother's Day (Top Ten List)...

6. Brainstorm coping strategies for when you are blindsided.

Now is the time to brainstorm coping strategies – before you are blindsided with the pain of Mother’s Day. When the pain of your infertility and/or unmet need to parent is triggered, you do not have time to think about the best way to respond;... more