From How to Survive Mother's Day (Top Ten List)...

5. Set aside time to grieve.

No matter what you do, your heart is going to be heavy around Mother’s Day. There is simply no way to get around this. While the rest of the world is celebrating the joys of motherhood, your arms remain empty. Being denied motherhood when you desperately want to become a mother is painful enough. Having the... more

From How to Survive Mother's Day (Top Ten List)...

4. Give yourself permission to feel whatever you feel.

Unfortunately, Western society is not very supportive of expressing painful emotions. It is okay to express happiness and sometimes okay to express anger, but expressing sadness is not encouraged. As the saying goes, “Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry, and you cry... more

From How to Survive Mother's Day (Top Ten List)...

3. Make plans for Mother’s Day that take you away from the hoopla.

If you and your spouse have been thinking about taking a trip, Mother’s Day weekend is the perfect time to do it. May is warm enough to enjoy outdoor activities in many places, and the change of location can get you away from the Mother’s... more

From How to Survive Mother's Day (Top Ten List)...

2. Focus on honoring your mother or mother figure.

To the extent you can, try to take the focus off of your empty arms and, instead, focus on honoring your mother and/or mother-in-law. This is going to be harder for those of you who experience a double-whammy of having a painful relationship with your own mother or mother-in-law,... more

From How to Survive Mother's Day (Top Ten List)...

1. Limit your exposure to Mother’s Day advertisements.

The pain of Mother’s Day runs so much longer than the 24-hour period allotted to the day on your calendar. Mother’s Day is an event that is heavily advertised on television and radio, in magazines, and in store displays. You cannot get away from it completely (unless you flee the country, but... more

In my Surviving the Wait series, I quoted Cindy Lewis Dake’s book, Infertility: A Survival Guide for Couples and Those Who Love Them, as saying…

If Christmas is hard because of its obvious family overtones, then [Mother’s Day and Father’s Day] are like bombs being dropped on your life. While everyone is celebrating the women who are mothers and the men that are fathers,... more

As we move into May, the day dreaded by hopeful mothers everywhere approaches – Mother’s Day. This is the time of year in which there seems to be nowhere safe to hide. All of your favorite TV shows are peppered with sappy commercials about what to buy mom for Mother’s Day. The card aisle at Target is filled with Mother’s Day cards. Magazines feature full-page ads about Mother’s Day sales. The radio is filled with Mother’s Day commercials.

Until the day passes, you will be BOMBARDED with reminders that Mother’s Day is approaching.... more

Christmas isn’t the only holiday that can rock you while you are waiting to adopt your child. Other holidays can also knock you for a loop. A big one for me was always Halloween. I would see these adorable little children toddle up to my front door and say “tick-a-tee” for “trick or treat,” and my eyes would well up with tears. I so desperately longed to celebrate Halloween with my own child. Other holidays can trigger your grief as well, such as Valentine’s Day, Easter, and Thanksgiving, depending upon your... more

Now that we have worked through the Top Ten List of ways to survive the wait, let’s focus on other areas of the waiting period that can be a struggle.

For those of us who desperately want to become parents, there are three time bombs built into our calendars. Those time bombs are called Christmas, Mother’s Day, and Father’s Day. While the rest of the world is celebrating the joy of family, waiting parents are reminded in flashing neon that they are, once again, being left out in the cold.... more