During my series on Deciding to Adopt a Child, a reader left the following comment regarding adoptees searching for their birthfamily:

How can you protect a child from being too idealistic about their biological parents when just about everyone has an image in their head of perfect ideal parents? I just hope I can give my children enough of a foundation to help them... It's something that is on my mind often. – Chromesthesia from Deciding... more

During the home study process, you will be asked when (or if) you plan to tell your child that you adopted him. When is the best time to tell a child about his adoption? Let me start by telling you when not to tell a child about his adoption – on his wedding day!!

During my series on Deciding to Adopt a Child, a reader left the following comment:

When this topic came up in my home study class, the... more

When you do believe an adopted child should be told about his adoption? Do you believe that an adopted child should be told at all? These are questions that you will need to work through as part of the home study process.

I found it overwhelming to have to make these kinds of decisions before I was even a parent, but I am so grateful that we covered this topic as part of our home study. By the time my son came along, I knew exactly how I planned to cover the topic of adoption. I felt well equipped... more

My son and I were cuddling before bedtime, and we were playing a little game of ours. I will ask, “Who is my favorite kid in the world?,” and he will say, “Me!” I ran through a bunch of questions, such as:

Who is my favorite kindergartener? Who is my favorite boy? Who is my favorite hugger?

His response to each question was, “Me! Me! Me!”

Then, I told him how much I love him and that I am so happy that I am his mommy. I said that I was so lucky that God gave him to me to be... more

Building healthy relationships between your child and his or her family members starts with early involvement. Take the time to include your family members in your adoption plans to better prepare them (and you) for the adjustment of a new addition to the family. Continue to encourage them to stay connected through interaction with the child once he or she arrives home.

Steps:

1. Inform your family members about your adoption plans during the early stages of the adoption process.

Once you make the decision to pursue an adoption, inform your family member of your plans. During your initial conversations you could share details about your adoption... more

This was the scene last night:

"I hate you! You are an idiot! I just want to be alone! I want a new family!"

This, from my 4-year-old. Kind of interesting that Sharlene just wrote a post about this very thing from newly adopted or foster kids - our family is living proof that it can come from the mouth of a child who's been with his adoptive family for over 3 years.

Here's what preceded his outburst.

Big J and Little J were waiting for my husband to finish... more

Hey - read this: "Treat adoption as a small deal" - an article by John Rosemond in the Wichita Eagle.

Rosemond argues that if you don't make adoption a BIG DEAL to kids, then it won't become a big deal to them later.

Logical, no?

Well, errrrmmmm, here's how he puts that reasonable hypothesis into action:

I am not, by the way, advocating that adopted children not be informed. I simply believe they should not be told until it is either necessary or they are old enough to truly comprehend the implications, ask intelligent questions, and participate in a rational discussion of... more