From Top Ten List: Adopting an Abused Child...

6. Your abused child needs your help in identifying and dismantling triggers.

A trigger is anything that can cause an abuse survivor to have a flashback. Most people think of flashbacks as visual experiences, and they can be experienced that way – as vivid memories. However, flashbacks can also be experienced as auditory... more

From Top Ten List: Adopting an Abused Child...

5. Your abused child needs you to hear his story in his own time.

A foundational principal of psychotherapy is that you need to talk about your issues until you no longer feel the need to talk about them anymore. This is why “talk therapy” is so successful. Talking about the issues helps you to face and dismantle... more

From Top Ten List: Adopting an Abused Child...

4. Doing well in school does not mean that there are no emotional issues from an abusive past.

Survivors of abuse tend to do things in extremes. Society has gotten better about “red flagging” children who react to the abuse by acting out in ways such as doing drugs, binge drinking, or becoming promiscuous. However, the children... more

From Top Ten List: Adopting an Abused Child...

3. When an abused child rejects you, he is really rejecting himself.

There are three aftereffects of childhood abuse that are shared by virtually every abuse survivor: self-loathing, inability to trust, and shame. These feelings cause the child to reject himself. When you, as an adoptive parent, tell the child that you love... more

From Top Ten List: Adopting an Abused Child...

2. Just because you are trustworthy does not mean that an abused child will choose to trust you.

When a child has been abused, particularly by his birthparents, his trust has been shattered. This is much more than just broken trust. If broken trust is ripping a piece of paper in two, shattered trust is like running the... more

From Top Ten List: Adopting an Abused Child...

1. No matter how much you love an abused child, he must choose to receive that love in order to heal.

When many hopeful adoptive parents decide to adopt a child who has been abused, they believe that they can love the child enough to heal the emotional wounds. This is a myth, which many adoptive parents... more

In honor of April being Child Abuse Awareness Month, I have put together this series on adopting an abused child. Child abuse is an epidemic in Western society. According to the All About Counseling website, roughly 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 5 to 7 boys are sexually abused. These are just the statistics for sexual abuse. Factor in the number of children who endure physical abuse,... more