On this blog, I frequently harp on the topic of keeping your integrity when entering into an adoption arrangement with an expecting mother. The reason for this is the frequency with which I read comments such as this one, which was posted on Closed Adoption: Pros and Cons:

open adoptions are not all cracked up to be what they sound like..i went through an agency to put my baby up for adoption, i figured since they were friends of my employer they would be true... more

If you adopt a child, would you be willing to follow through with the promises you make to the birth family? At first blush, this might seem like an obvious “DOH!” Why wouldn’t you?

Not every adoptive couple follows through with its promises after adopting a child, but not all couples do so with fraudulent intent. Many couples simply do not think through the issues ahead of time and then find themselves in some very difficult positions after the adoption is finalized.

On Adoption.com’s Self-Assessment... more

The topic of ethics is a recurring theme in this family of blogs, and the ethics of adoption agencies is at the top of the list of concerns for many people in the adoption triad.

On the Birth-First Parents blog, Jan lists the following as the first item that would make her feel guilty if she were an adoptive parent:

1. If I did not thoroughly investigate the agency as far as its... more

Coley wrote a great post for the Crisis Pregnancy blog called How to know when Adoptive Parents may not be Ethical. In a nutshell, to be an ethical hopeful adoptive parent, read over her list and do not do the things she mentions.

Do Not Pressure or “Crowd” a Placing Mother

When... more

Please read the first two parts of this blog entry here (part 1) and here (part 2).

This kind of sentiment is everywhere. I bumped up upon it on a great political blog that I read on occasion (can't post the URL here - "bad" word in title - email me if you want to read a wonderful, entertaining blog by a very intelligent woman who happens to share the same political beliefs as I do). This blogger, who I usually... more

Please read part 1 of this post here.

So - back to the original point: buying a baby. Why does adopting internationally cost so much? Here are some reasons for the hefty price tag:

Lawyers run adoption agencies (or at least are employed by them) and we all know lawyers ain't cheap. Social workers work for adoption agencies. They deserve to be paid a living wage, don't they? Adoption agencies are typically not run out of someone's basement. Rent, electricity, heat,... more

On Saturday I posted a blog entry giving the cost breakdown of various countries, should people choose to adopt internationally. Last night I got a very impassioned comment from someone accusing me of "buying a baby." He asked why didn't I use my money to help a mother keep a child, instead. He had me all figured out: if I spent my time and energy doing that I wouldn't get what I wanted, which, I presume, was some other mother's child.

Ouch. Double ouch. I can't help but be a little stung by... more