A very important step in becoming an adoptive parent is the finalization of your adoption. Some adoptive parents skip this step, which is a very bad idea. Until your adoption finalization is completed, you are not your child’s legal parents.

In order to finalize an adoption, you need to comply with the laws in your state. Most states require you to have a specified number of post-placement visits from a social worker. These are home visits in which the social worker checks in to see how the family is adjusting to its new addition. For me, those visits were... more

From Adoption 101: How to Adopt a Child:

12. Receive adoption decree (must be issued in a courthouse in some states; mailed to your home in others).

After you have filed your petition to adopt, the court will review your petition and (hopefully) grant it. Some states require you to go to court... more

From Adoption 101: How to Adopt a Child:

11. Petition the court to finalize your adoption.

Once you have completed the requirements to adopt in your state, you will need to petition the court to adopt your child. The requirements vary from state to state, so you will need to work with your adoption attorney to make sure you have... more

A bizarre reality of adoption is that you are a foster parent to your own baby for several months. Even when the birthparents’ parental rights have terminated and there is nobody else who is seeking custody of the child, the adoptive parents are legally foster parents until the adoption is finalized. For us, this process took 5 months.

In the meantime, I started up a neighborhood “moms group” with several other new mothers and their babies. We swapped stories and ideas and muddled through the first few months of sleep-deprived parenthood... more