I have talked with several families who have adopted after having bio children. One of the most frustrating issues is the lack of support from their friends and family. People say things like, “Why can’t you just appreciate the children that you have?” One hopeful adoptive mother responded, “I DO appreciate the children that I have. That’s WHY I want more.”

Society's views on adopting after bio children baffle me. As an infertile woman, I can adopt one child and then receive lots of support to adopt a second... more

One reader asked the following question:

How does having a bio child affect the ability to adopt?

I know several “mixed” families with both bio and adopted children. Some adopted and then later conceived. Others had their bio children first and then struggled with secondary infertility. In all of these families, the love is the same. I have never been able to tell which child was adopted based upon the way the children were treated. So, if you choose to adopt after having bio children,... more

I have two boys. Big J is 7 and he is my biological child. Little J is 4 and he is adopted. When we were thinking about adopting we were told by an agency that as parents we'd be less attractive to potential birthmothers since we already had a child, and a bio one to boot. Seems like many people figure you'll love your "own" child better.

I'm here to tell you that's not how it is. We love both our boys. We are parents to both our boys. We don't love one better than the other.

Now, is one of our children easier than they other? Oh, yes. Big J... more