My son was born in a different state from where hub and I lived. In the state where my son was born, the placing mother has 10 days after she signs relinquishment papers to choose to parent. So, during those 10 days, we were (obviously) required to stay in the state of the baby's birth.

Babies need to have a well visit with the pediatrician when they are seven days old. I clearly could not take my son to the person I had selected to be his pediatrician. Also, I could not take him to a pediatrician in my home state, where my health insurance would... more

On my post, Putative Father Registries, long-time reader John posted the following comment:

The father should have a right to know of the birth of his child, but this state seems to fit with the idea that some states have the babies are the exclusive property of the mother. Certainly that was the thinking years ago, and oddly it fits well with the argument that abortion is purely a womans choice, she is the only affected person.

This... more

On my post, Putative Father Registries, I shared a story about one of my readers who did not find out about his birthdaughter's existence until she was 13 years old. By state law, he had no legal right to notice about the child's adoption because he was not aware of the pregnancy.

Long-time reader John posted the following comment:

Faith,... more

I read a very disturbing Newsweek article called When Adoption Goes Wrong. I wrestled with whether to write about it but concluded that this is information that hopeful adoptive parents need to know about to protect themselves.

The article begins with a story about an adoptive mother who beat her adoptive two-year-old child to death. (Can you see why I hesitated to write about this?) While there is no justification for what this adoptive mother did, hopeful adoptive parents can benefit from reading... more

On my post, Insecurities about Adopted Child's Relationship with Birthparents, a birthfather left a very sad comment about his own situation. He posted that he has a thirteen-year-old birthdaughter that he just found out about this summer. I cannot even imagine the shock that this man must have gone through, first knowing that he had a child and then that "strangers" were raising that child without him ever relinquishing his parental rights or agreeing... more

On my post, Adoption Agencies Referring to Expecting Mothers as Birthmothers, I incorrectly stated that it was not possible in any of the United States for a pregnant woman to be a birthmother because a woman cannot legally terminate her parental rights until after the baby is born. I have changed this statement to the following to make it accurate:

In a nutshell, a birthmother is a woman whose parental rights have legally terminated. This... more

This post is part of a series on older child adoption in which I am applying things I learned from adopting a retired racing greyhound to hoping to adopt an older child. While there are obviously many differences, I learned a lot that can be useful in adopting an older child.

I am a "by the book" kind of person. When we adopted our greyhound, I studied the advice that the rescue provided for the first few weeks, and I followed them to the letter. Meanwhile, my husband would much rather... more

This post is part of a series on older child adoption in which I am applying things I learned from adopting a retired racing greyhound to hoping to adopt an older child. While there are obviously many differences, I learned a lot that can be useful in adopting an older child.

When we adopted our greyhound, the rescue told us he might grieve his old life for the first few days or weeks. The dog might not have much of an appetite for the first couple of days. He might also cry or... more

This post is part of a series on older child adoption in which I am applying things I learned from adopting a retired racing greyhound to hoping to adopt an older child. While there are obviously many differences, I learned a lot that can be useful in adopting an older child.

When we adopted our greyhound, the rescue told us that there are some things that are different about greyhounds that we needed to respect before adopting one. For example, greyhounds must live indoors.... more

This post is part of a series on older child adoption in which I am applying things I learned from adopting a retired racing greyhound to hoping to adopt an older child. While there are obviously many differences, I learned a lot that can be useful in adopting an older child.

I have owned many dogs throughout my life, and I raised the vast majority from puppies. I would choose a really cute puppy, give him lots of love, and watch him grow into a full-grown dog. Along the way, I... more