During my series on Deciding to Adopt a Child, a reader left the following comment:

I also must figure out why I am not totally drawn to newborn adoptions at the moment. The stronger pull is to international and I'm not totally sure why. I'm not ruling out foster to adopt when I am more mature though. It's hard to raise children, but I think I will need an extra bit of strength and courage I don't have yet to really advocate for a child when I become a foster parent. I also feel it would be best... more

How long are you willing to wait to adopt a child? No matter which method of adoption you choose, you are going to have to wait. I used to believe that adopting out of foster care was fast, but I know several adoptive parents who had to wait quite a while to adopt waiting children. Unfortunately, all adoptions include a ton of paperwork, and completing all of the paperwork and getting those papers filed with the right people takes time.

When I was looking to adopt in the late 1990's, I was told that the average wait to adopt a healthy newborn was 3-5 years.... more

In a perfect world, how many children would you like to have? This question can factor into the type of adoption you want to pursue. The adoption process takes a long time, no matter which route you pursue, but some avenues take longer than others do.

If you are already in your forties and want to adopt four children who are close together in age, you might want to consider adopting a sibling group out of foster care or adopting several children at the same time internationally rather than waiting to be matched with four successive expecting mothers.... more

What would you describe as your ideal adoption situation? The answer to this question is going to be different for different couples. Some people have preferences regarding gender, age, race or nationality, or level of openness. Other people do not care about some of those issues but really want to parent a child with a particular special need, such as reactive attachment... more

Adoption.com's Self-Assessment Adoption Quiz asks a very important and insightful question about being reluctant to adopt:

27. Deep down do you feel like you are being forced to adopt if you want to have children, adoption as a means to build a family is "second best," or that adoption is your "last resort" if you want to be able to have children?

This is a very important question to ask yourself, and you need to be very honest... more

Will you be able to love an adopted child as much as if you had given birth to him? If you already have a biological child, are you prepared to embrace your adopted child so that you love him just as much as your biological child? Will the fact that you are not biologically related affect your ability to accept your adopted child as your "own"?

If you are not sure whether you will be able to fully love and embrace an adopted child as your child, then you are not yet ready to adopt. Every child deserves to be loved wholeheartedly. The child does not ask to be... more

What areas of childrearing are non-negotiable to you? Most of us have some areas of childrearing that we feel very strongly about, and you will be asked to identify those areas during the home study process. This is important information to know, especially when matching you with an expecting mother who might have equally strong feelings about these topics. This information could also be important for placements from foster care.

There are many areas of parenting that you might... more

What do you have to contribute to an adopted child? Why do you think you will be a good parent? These questions will come up during your home study, so it is a good idea to start thinking about them now. Many couples immediately turn to financial resources, but being able to afford to raise a child is only one part of good parenting.

In my opinion, one of the most important things that most hopeful adoptive parents have to offer is a strong desire to want to parent a child.... more

When you adopt your child, what changes will your family make to your work schedules? If you are both currently working fulltime outside of the home, then you are going to have to make some adjustments. One of you is going to have to stay at home for at least a few weeks when the child arrives. (See Deciding to Adopt a Child: Taking Time Off Work.) And then one of you is going to have to be available whenever the child is sick, has to go to the doctor, or has other needs... more

If your adopted child decides that he wants to search for his birthparents, how will you feel about it? Will you support his decision to search? Or will you try to talk him out of searching? This was a difficult question for me to field when I was going through the home study process. It was hard to think about a conversation that might not even take place for twenty years.

If you choose to have an open... more