People who decide to adopt after infertility have issues to work through that are not experienced by those who never tried to conceive a biological child. While adoption cures childlessness, it does not cure infertility. Many couples who decide to adopt after infertility are not aware of this very important distinction, and they can be blindsided by the pain of their infertility even after they become parents through adoption.

No matter how wonderful your adopted child will be, he is not a replacement for the biological child about which you dreamed.... more

Are you still pursuing fertility treatments? Do you plan to do so while you also pursue adopting a child? Why are you continuing to pursue fertility treatments?

Many adoption agencies will tell you that you cannot pursue fertility treatments while you pursue adoption. They want you to put that chapter of your life behind you before you begin the adoption process. One reason for this is that they want you committed to adopting a child. If you get pregnant during the process and a child or an expecting mother has already matched with you, what will you... more

I adopted my son after struggling with primary infertility for several years. When we decided to adopt, we received lots of support for our decision. I know several adoptive families who adopted after primary infertility and then went on to conceive and give birth to a biological child. These families also received lots of support. However, I have talked to several couples who gave birth to one or more biological children and then were diagnosed with secondary infertility. Those people did not receive the same... more

After months or years of trying for a child and struggling with infertility, you may have come to the conclusion that adoption may be the best way to fulfill your dreams of parenthood. Having been through so much all ready, you need to prepare yourself for the journey ahead of you and have realistic expectations of what the process will entail.

Steps:

1. Ask yourself if you are ready to adopt.

While it is normal to have some feelings of disappointment and loss when coming to terms with infertility, you want to be able to move forward in a positive and constructive manner when starting the adoption process. It may be difficult to focus 100% of... more

Continued from here.

But here's the part that I really have a problem with - and this pretty much fits in with my whole philosophy of adoption - it ain't about the parents, once the child exists - it's about the child. Here are some things that I believe:

I believe that children who are adopted need to know they're adopted.

I believe that children who are adopted need to know as much as possible about their first parents, and have contact with them if contact is safe.

If... more

I want to introduce a subject for discussion: is using donor eggs for IVF the same thing as adoption? What about using donated semen for artificial insemination or for IVF? What are the ramifications of these procedures to the children who are created in such a way?

I don't mean the LEGAL ramifications, but the emotional ones. If you are a child created using someone other than your (birth)parents' DNA (as opposed to your (bio)parents), do you have the same kind of identity issues or conflicts that adopted children sometimes have? Do people who are using... more

I wrote about this a while back in my Adopting from Russia blog, but I think it's worth a repeat. This is a really common thing that very well-meaning friends and acquaintances might say to you once you've made the decision to adopt. It certainly happened to me!

"Just watch - once you start the adoption process, you'll get pregnant!" This, from a friend of a friend who I'd run into in the grocery store and had just told about our plans for adoption.

"I hope not!" I said, meaning it. I'd already been pregnant five times in the past year and a half, accompanied... more

Here's a question for all of you out there in blog-reading land: why is it so offensive and sensitive to suggest to infertile people that they consider adoption?

I have never understood this, and I'm not trying to be offensive when I ask this question, merely honest. I want to know. This is probably a good place to ask this question because if you're here then you're at least considering adoption. It's not like this is an infertility board (although we do discuss the topic). So hopefully whoever is reading this is past the point of being offended. I hope.

Yesterday I was reading a series of posts on a non-adoption related message board in which people were discussing single... more

I know I'm stealing this topic from our fertility blogger, but I'm operating under the assumption that many (if not most) people who are in the Hoping to Adopt stage have been struggling with fertility issues. I certainly did.

And I will go on record saying that after 2 years of either being pregnant, hoping to be pregnant, or taking drugs that were supposed to help me get pregnant, when we finally decided to adopt it was like the weight of those two crummy years were lifted from my back and I could breathe... more

I was looking up the phrase "Celebrity adoption," with the idea I'd research a post about celebrities who adopt and satisfy my silly craving for celebrity gossip at the same time, when I came upon a news article from Bioedge: Bioethics news for health and legal professions and the media: "Mail order embryos."

It tells about a fertility clinic in Texas that allows patients to custom-order embryos, choosing things like eye and hair... more