Each new year is a fresh start, and I think I know what all of my readers are hoping the new year will bring – a new addition to the family! That was definitely my wish as each new year rolled around. I would hope and pray that I would ring in the next new year with my child fast asleep in our nursery.

Do you make New Year's resolutions? I sometimes do but do not take them very seriously. I can tell you some resolutions that I never made while I was waiting to adopt:

Find a way to stop aching when spending time with friends' children Focus... more

If you are waiting to adopt, you have probably asked, "When we will be matched?" about 300,000 times. I would have given anything to have a crystal ball tell me when the match would happen. I could have handled waiting another year if I could only know that a baby was definitely coming in twelve months. I have always dealt better with bad news than no news at all. The uncertainty can drive me crazy.

One really odd thing about newborn adoption is that your forever child could already be conceived and growing in another woman's body while you are crying into your pillow... more

I hope that you have enjoyed this series on surviving the wait. As I said when I introduced the series, waiting for my child was the most difficult part of becoming a parent for me. I would rather do 10 home studies than have to sit by the phone doing nothing but waiting for 17 months. Waiting was excruciating for me, which is why I have devoted so much time to discussing this topic.

Please let me know if there is another aspect of waiting that you would like to read about in a future blog. We will... more

For me, one of the most frustrating parts of waiting to adopt was not being able to make plans. I have always been a very “scheduled” person. I plan everything out in advance. One of my friends says I am like “Rabbit” from “Winnie the Pooh” – I live and die by my schedule. For 17 months, I was in “wait mode,” so I was afraid to make plans. Should we go out of town for Christmas? What if the baby comes? Should I buy tickets to next month’s concert? What if I have a baby and cannot go?

I even let the... more

Journaling is a good way to help you to process your feelings and emotions when you are going through a difficult time. When you have heavy emotions swirling around in your head, it can help to get them out onto paper. Your brain processes your thoughts differently when you are writing than when you are thinking or speaking. Sometimes seeing your thoughts written out on paper can help to ease the emotions behind them.

Journaling can serve more than just a therapeutic role: it can also provide valuable... more

Many people find a lot of comfort in turning to their faith in times of pain. Others struggle deeply with their faith as they wrestle with the unfairness of what they are facing in their lives. I am one of those people who bounces back and forth between the two extremes as I try to reconcile my experience with what I believe my faith represents.

Regardless of what your faith is, most religions value being kind to others. My doctor’s office has a poster that shows variations of “The Golden... more

Infertility and the adoption process take their toll on a marriage. Both processes are extremely stressful. Now that you are in “wait” mode, start repairing any damage that your marriage has suffered. Reconnect with who you were as a couple before becoming parents became the central focus of your lives.

What did you used to do together before you entered Infertility and/or Adoption Process Hades? Start doing those things again. Go out on dates on Saturday nights. Go on a picnic. Nurture your relationship and... more

Let’s face it – none of us has had a perfect life. Some of us endured painful experiences as children. Others lost loved ones through death, divorce, or abandonment. Still others have suffered from physical or emotional issues. Nobody gets through life completely unscathed. That’s a reality of the human experience.

Once a child enters your life, the focus of your life becomes your child for a very long time. You no longer have the luxury of focusing exclusively on your own issues. When a child is screaming... more

As I said an earlier blog, balance is the key to surviving the wait. Participating in hobbies brings more balance into your life. You know the saying, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”? It also makes Jack a miserable boy.

You only live your life once, so set aside some time to do the things that you enjoy. Whether it is golfing, bowling, going to the movies, or stamp-collecting, make your hobby a priority in your life. Once your child enters your life, you will have less time to do... more

In an earlier blog called Surviving the Wait, I shared the story of how volunteering helped me to survive my wait time. This is a quote from that blog:

One day, I heard some very good advice. Somebody had called into a talk radio show seeking help for her depression. The talk radio host asked, “What have you done for someone else lately?” She went on to say that the best way to pull yourself out of a depression... more