On my post, Adoption Agencies Referring to Expecting Mothers as Birthmothers, I incorrectly stated that it was not possible in any of the United States for a pregnant woman to be a birthmother because a woman cannot legally terminate her parental rights until after the baby is born. I have changed this statement to the following to make it accurate:

In a nutshell, a birthmother is a woman whose parental rights have legally terminated. This... more

During my series on Deciding to Adopt a Child, a reader left the following comment:

Why don't they do it that way? Match AFTER the child is born and the mother has had all the time she needs to make her decision and to weigh the outcomes. Maybe it would reduce the amount of adoptions, but at least it would reduce failed adoptions perhaps... – Chromesthesia from Deciding to Adopt a Child:... more

From Newborn Adoption: The First Week:

9. Write letters to the placing mother.

If you are in an open or semi-open adoption, the agency or facilitator might ask you to write a letter to the placing mother during the period in which... more

Many people who want to adopt a newborn baby will match with a placing mother, who will become the child's birthmother. This can be done through an adoption agency or through a private (non-agency) avenue, such as a facilitator or adoption attorney. Private adoptions tend to be a little less expensive, but you might need to take on the responsibility of networking to locate a placing mother.

If you decide to match with a placing mother, you need to decide whether you want a closed,... more

Our agency strongly encouraged semi-open adoptions. If neither the placing mother nor the hopeful adoptive family had a contact plan, the agency provided the following suggested contact:

Meet before the birth Provide the birthmother with pictures and letters every other month for the first year Provide the birthmother with pictures and letters twice a year thereafter

We were so nervous about meeting the placing mother (T). I was so worried that I would say something stupid and she would... more

The day “the” call came was just like any other day. I went to work. I went to the post office to – of all things – buy some adoption stamps. (Do you remember when those were out? If you blinked, you missed them. Fairly soon after they were put into print, postage went up.) I came home, and there was a message on the answering machine. The adoption agency’s director asked us to call him as soon as possible.

My heart was pounding as I dialed the number. I was afraid to even hope, but the director did not contact waiting parents directly... more

All this talk about The Girls Who Went Away (which I started to read but didn't finish - no comment on the quality or subject of the book but rather, my life) as well as my continued interest in learning about all aspects of adoption has made me think: what would I have done had I become pregnant at 16? 18? at 22? at 26?

When I was 16 I was a junior in high school. It was 1984. I had a dopey (literally - he and his best friend were holding a contest as to who could get high the most days in a row) boyfriend and a lot of freedom to do what I wanted. It could've... more

This post is about communication in open adoption.

First, you'll have to put up with my own little drama.

Recently, a person who I thought knew me quite well got really angry at me about something I said. She thought I said what I said for one reason; the reality is that I said it for quite another reason. Apparently my delivery didn't convey my meaning very well, especially when combined with certain assumptions she has about me. She thinks she irritates me. She told me I wasn't patient enough with her. I told her she hadn't given me any... more

Coley, a fellow blogger here at adoption.com (she co-writes the Crisis Pregnancy blog), is the creator of a WONDERFUL website, BirthMomBuds. It's listed in her bio but I don't think she's bragged about it yet - as she well should because it does a wonderful job of providing resources, support, encouragement, education, and help to women who are considering adoption, who may have already placed a child for adoption, or who want to adopt themselves.

If you fit any of those three descriptions... more

In this section of my blog I want to explore the world of domestic, private adoption. This is actually an area I don't know that much about, since at our first meeting with a domestic agency the agency director told us to go to Russia...but it's something I'd like to explore for personal as well as professional reasons.

I see great benefits in adopting domestically through a private agency or attorney. The number one benefit I see is the ability to remain in touch with your child's first mother. This is something seriously lacking in the world of international adoption. It's... more