Here's part 1 of this post.

Here's where I'm coming from: although there are really bad statistical records on adoption, it seems clear (through the last real statistical study, which was done in 1992) that many, many adopted children in this country are not adopted through domestic, private adoption where the birth mother chose a family for her child, coerced or no. Many, possibly the majority, of adoptions in this country happen because really rotten things happen to children who shouldn't... more

Dr. G just wrote a long post (part 1 and part 2) about how she hates adoption. And although she said not to guess at her motivation I'm going to analyze her nonetheless: she doesn't really hate adoption - she just hates having to think about it and write about it and worry about it all the time. If you write about adoption publically, like we do on the blogs, you get criticized - sometimes by readers and sometimes by fellow bloggers. And although many times commenters are kind... more

I just found a cautionary tale about adoption fraud. I've actually avoided writing about this issue in this blog because I don't want to scare people away from adoption.

Many times prospective adoptive parents hear rumors or have bad information about how often scams and fraud happens and I don't want to blow it out of proportion. Most of the time, as long as you are using a reputable agency and/or attorney, adoptions have happy endings. You may lose your first referral or the first prospective birth mother who chooses you may change her mind, but from reading and writing about adoption... more

I'm addressing this to the mothers out there. Maybe there are a few dad for whom this also applies (Hi Derek - that's my BIL, ya'll) but for the most part I think this question is generally one the mothers-to-be ask themselves.

Should you stay at home after you adopt?

I have a definite opinion on this. I think that if at all possible, at least one parent should try to either stay at home or significantly reduce work hours for a good while (like at least a year) after you adopt a child. I think this is particularly important if the child has been... more

Read this:

http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=2204

It's important.

Here's the law, according to the Family Medical Leave Act (posted through the Department of Labor's website):

Covered employers must grant an eligible employee up to a total of 12 workweeks of unpaid leave during any 12-month period for one or more of the following reasons:

for the birth and care of the newborn child of the employee; for placement with the employee of a son or daughter for adoption or foster care; to care for an immediate family member (spouse, child, or parent)... more

I was clicking around on the adoption.org website and I came across an essay called "Why we don't adopt highways," by Chris Peters.

Of course I wanted to read it. I've never gotten why the adoption community had such a beef with "adopt a whatever" programs. I wanted someone to explain to me why it is such a big deal - something worth writing letters about when there are so many other things in the world more worth writing letters about.

Peters... more

Please read the first two parts of this blog entry here (part 1) and here (part 2).

This kind of sentiment is everywhere. I bumped up upon it on a great political blog that I read on occasion (can't post the URL here - "bad" word in title - email me if you want to read a wonderful, entertaining blog by a very intelligent woman who happens to share the same political beliefs as I do). This blogger, who I usually... more

Please read part 1 of this post here.

So - back to the original point: buying a baby. Why does adopting internationally cost so much? Here are some reasons for the hefty price tag:

Lawyers run adoption agencies (or at least are employed by them) and we all know lawyers ain't cheap. Social workers work for adoption agencies. They deserve to be paid a living wage, don't they? Adoption agencies are typically not run out of someone's basement. Rent, electricity, heat,... more

On Saturday I posted a blog entry giving the cost breakdown of various countries, should people choose to adopt internationally. Last night I got a very impassioned comment from someone accusing me of "buying a baby." He asked why didn't I use my money to help a mother keep a child, instead. He had me all figured out: if I spent my time and energy doing that I wouldn't get what I wanted, which, I presume, was some other mother's child.

Ouch. Double ouch. I can't help but be a little stung by... more