One surreal part of nesting for an adoptive mother is having a baby shower. Attending baby showers was emotionally painful for me while waiting to become a parent. Then, with one phone call matching me with a placing mother, I was suddenly the guest of honor, receiving baby presents while sitting there with my “flat tummy.” It was bizarre.

An adoptive mother friend of mine feared that she would never have a baby shower because she might not have enough notice about a match to put one together. I assured... more

A very fun part of nesting is filling out your registry for baby gifts. There is no “right” time to do this other than before your first baby shower. I waited until we were matched with a placing mother. I know other people who registered before that. It is exciting to go down each aisle and think about the things that you will need to prepare for your new addition; however, it can also be painful if you don’t know that a new addition is on the way yet. Follow your heart on this one.

You can register for many... more

If you are adopting a baby or toddler, you will want to purchase a stroller. Strollers are invaluable when you are walking around a store and need to keep your toddler stationary. Also, taking a walk with your child is fun, good exercise, and a great way to give your child some fresh air.

Carriages

I enjoyed using a baby carriage with my son when he was very young. I laid him flat and kept the sun off his skin with the canopy. We could look at each other as I walked, which... more

If you adopt a child who is under 8 years old, then you will need to purchase a car safety seat. Smaller children over the age of 8 might need a safety seat as well. Here are the guidelines from the American Academy of Pediatrics:

Rear-facing Car Seats

Babies must ride in a rear-facing car seat until they are at least 20 lbs. and at least 1 year old. Even if your baby reaches 20 lbs. before... more

Unless you plan to be a stay-at-home mom (or dad), you will need to work out childcare for when you are working. Choosing the person who you will trust to take care of your precious new addition is a very big decision, so you don’t want to be rushed into it.

It is a good idea to start thinking about this now, even before you are matched with a child. Then, after you know for sure that a child is coming, you can make a final decision about who you will entrust with your child’s care.

Childcare... more

A very important part of nesting is finding a good pediatrician for your child. You don’t want to start looking for one while holding a sick baby in your arms.

As soon as you know that a child is coming, start looking for a pediatrician. Many will even let you schedule a “prenatal” visit so you can interview the pediatrician and determine if he or she is what you are looking for.

The best way to find a good one is through referral. However, if you don’t know anyone who uses a pediatrician, here... more

When we were matched with a placing mother, I was adamant that I did not want any clothing that was not gender-neutral. If we experienced a failed adoption, I did not want to have to return a bunch of little boy outfits if we were next matched with a baby girl.

Fortunately, many outfits for newborns are attractive even if they are not blue or pink. I loved outfits in cream, white, mint green, and even red. Any of those... more

When should you set up the nursery or child's room? This is a very personal decision, so you need to do whatever you feel is best for your family.

My husband was adamant that I not set up the nursery until after we were matched with a placing mother because he did not want me having a constant reminder of a literally empty crib in our house. However, I know other people who go ahead and set up the nursery before they are matched. Decorating a nursery with only a few weeks’ notice that a baby... more

Baby books, life books, and scrapbooks are nesting items that you can start putting together at any time, as long as working on them is not too emotionally painful. For me, working on books for my unborn child was exciting: it was a tangible way to focus on my dream of becoming a parent.

Baby Books

I found a lot of joy in purchasing a baby book for my son. I found a fabulous one at Hallmark that is specifically tailored for the adopted child. The beginning page says, “For [Baby’s... more

A big dilemma for me when I was waiting to adopt was deciding when to start reading parenting books. I never babysat as a teenager, and I never worked in a church nursery. My knowledge about taking care of a baby was very limited.

My sister had a baby a few years before, so I had changed a couple of diapers. I even babysat my then 4-year-old nephew for three nights when his brother was born. However, this limited experience was not enough for me to feel comfortable taking care of a newborn baby 24/7.

I... more