Will you be able to love an adopted child as much as if you had given birth to him? If you already have a biological child, are you prepared to embrace your adopted child so that you love him just as much as your biological child? Will the fact that you are not biologically related affect your ability to accept your adopted child as your "own"?

If you are not sure whether you will be able to fully love and embrace an adopted child as your child, then you are not yet ready to adopt. Every child deserves to be loved wholeheartedly. The child does not ask to be... more

What areas of childrearing are non-negotiable to you? Most of us have some areas of childrearing that we feel very strongly about, and you will be asked to identify those areas during the home study process. This is important information to know, especially when matching you with an expecting mother who might have equally strong feelings about these topics. This information could also be important for placements from foster care.

There are many areas of parenting that you might... more

What do you have to contribute to an adopted child? Why do you think you will be a good parent? These questions will come up during your home study, so it is a good idea to start thinking about them now. Many couples immediately turn to financial resources, but being able to afford to raise a child is only one part of good parenting.

In my opinion, one of the most important things that most hopeful adoptive parents have to offer is a strong desire to want to parent a child.... more

When you adopt your child, what changes will your family make to your work schedules? If you are both currently working fulltime outside of the home, then you are going to have to make some adjustments. One of you is going to have to stay at home for at least a few weeks when the child arrives. (See Deciding to Adopt a Child: Taking Time Off Work.) And then one of you is going to have to be available whenever the child is sick, has to go to the doctor, or has other needs... more

Not every expected placement turns into an adoption. Expecting mothers choose to parent. Countries shut down their adoption programs. Foster children are returned to their birth families for one more chance. If your expected placement falls through, how will you handle the loss?

Failed adoptions happen more frequently than you might expect. I know numerous people who have had to grieve the loss of a failed adoption from all types of adoption situations.

Most of the people I know who... more

If your adopted child decides that he wants to search for his birthparents, how will you feel about it? Will you support his decision to search? Or will you try to talk him out of searching? This was a difficult question for me to field when I was going through the home study process. It was hard to think about a conversation that might not even take place for twenty years.

If you choose to have an open... more

When you do believe an adopted child should be told about his adoption? Do you believe that an adopted child should be told at all? These are questions that you will need to work through as part of the home study process.

I found it overwhelming to have to make these kinds of decisions before I was even a parent, but I am so grateful that we covered this topic as part of our home study. By the time my son came along, I knew exactly how I planned to cover the topic of adoption. I felt well equipped... more

When we decided to adopt a child, my husband’s number one concern was how to afford the adoption. Most people who want to adopt a child share this concern. Considering that adoptions can cost as much as $40,000, hopeful adoptive parents are wise to be concerned about how to afford an adoption. (Foster adoption is free, so keep this in mind if you cannot afford a 5-figure adoption.)

How much money are you willing and able to spend on an adoption? The cost of adoption varies widely, depending upon which avenue you take. (See Cost... more

How much time will you be able to take off work during and after the adoption? Many people do not think about this issue before they decide to adopt a child, but you will need to take some time off to go through the adoption process and help the child adjust to his new home. It is very difficult to adopt a child without taking at least some time off from work.

Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA)

Under the FMLA, employers with over 50 employees must allow you to take up to 12 weeks off from work to adopt your child. (Not every employer... more

How far are you willing to travel to adopt a child? Some people adopt a child in their own city while others travel across the world to meet their child. Thinking through travel issues is an important part of deciding from where to adopt your child. You will also want to consider the laws in each state and/or country you are considering.

Cost

Traveling to meet your child obviously adds to the cost of adopting your child. There is the cost of the travel itself, but there is also the cost of lost earnings from being away from... more