If you adopt a child, would you be willing to follow through with the promises you make to the birth family? At first blush, this might seem like an obvious “DOH!” Why wouldn’t you?

Not every adoptive couple follows through with its promises after adopting a child, but not all couples do so with fraudulent intent. Many couples simply do not think through the issues ahead of time and then find themselves in some very difficult positions after the adoption is finalized.

On Adoption.com’s Self-Assessment... more

When you adopt a child, you need to consider how much of a role the birthmother will have in your family. In some cases, this decision might be out of your hands. For example, in most cases, international adoptions are going to be closed adoptions, which means that the birthmother will not have any role in the child’s life, at least while the child is a minor. However, you can adopt a child internationally without having a closed adoption in some situations. See International... more

When you are considering whether to adopt a child, one factor to consider is how much support you will receive from family and friends. The adoption process is grueling, and you will need to lean on your family and friends as you work your way through the process. Also, when you adopt a child, you need your family and friends to embrace the child as your family. Is this going to be an issue for you?

I put together a Lack of Support in Adoption Series to discuss the issues you might encounter if... more

If you are married and want to adopt a child, you need to make sure your marriage is stable before proceeding with an adoption. You do not want to adopt a child and then have the family split apart within a couple of years. While none of us has any guarantees about how long our marriages will last, you need to go into an adoption with as stable of a marriage as possible.

Adoption.com's Self-Assessment Adoption Quiz asks the following question:

11. Do you... more

When you think about adopting a child, what type of child do you have in mind? You do want to adopt a child who is a newborn that looks very much like you? Or would you prefer to adopt a child who is older, living in a foster home or orphanage, and waiting for a forever family? There is no “right” or “wrong” answer to these questions, but you need to be very honest with yourself about the type of child you are looking to adopt.

Types of Decisions re: Child to Adopt

One of the most difficult parts of adopting is having to make so... more

In my last post, Deciding to Adopt a Child: Reluctant Spouse, I talked about the stress that the adoption process can put on a marriage, particularly when one spouse is ready to adopt but the other is not. Before moving on to other topics, I have a book suggestion for anyone with a reluctant spouse. This book is a must-read for anyone who fears the effects of the adoption process on his marriage.

Jill Smolowe wrote a fabulous book called An... more

When deciding whether to adopt a child, are you and your spouse on the same page? If your answer is no, you are not alone. My favorite adoption author, Jill Smolowe, wrote a fabulous article on this topic called The Reluctant Spouse, in which she explains the many reasons why couples often fail to agree on whether to adopt a child. Her writings helped me to feel less alone when my husband and I were in very different places regarding adoption.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how... more

One of the first questions you need to ask yourself is why you want to adopt a child in the first place. While this might seem obvious (you have an empty nest that you want to fill with a child), your motivation to adopt a child can be much more complex than you initially realize.

People have many answers to this question, including –

All of my friends have children, so I want one, too. Having a child will make our marriage better. I am infertile, so I cannot “make” a baby myself. I do not have an heir to inherit... more

While I was writing the Adoption 101 series, I came across a comment posted on the Editor’s blog written by someone who is deciding whether to adopt a child. The reader wanted to learn more about the early stages of decision-making before someone commits to adopting a child. Here is the comment:

Lisa - I wanted to know if you have ever considered starting a blog for people who are hoping to adopt, but maybe have not started the process yet. Kind of a "fact gathering" place... more

If you already have a child (whether the child joined your family through birth or adoption), you might wonder how already having a child will affect the adoption process. I have good news for you: You can definitely adopt when you already have a child in the home. According to our agency, about half of expecting mothers actually prefer to place their babies into homes that already have children. The adoption process for adopting internationally or out of foster care does not limit adoptions to childless households.

If you already have a child, there will... more