From How to Prepare for a Home Study:

8. Brainstorm issues that could raise concerns (and brainstorm solutions).

Most of us have not led lives like Ward and June Cleaver. If we examine our lives, we can identify areas and experiences that might raise a red flag for a social worker who is evaluating our ability to parent. Red flags do not necessarily mean that we will be declined as adoptive... more

From How to Prepare for a Home Study:

7. Brace yourself for lack of privacy.

Once you start your home study, you can kiss your privacy goodbye. Everything about your life, your marriage, your childhood, your finances, and anything else you might have kept confidential is open for scrutiny. This is a very big pill to swallow, but this is something that you will need to face if you want to become... more

From How to Prepare for a Home Study:

6. Line up your references.

Before your home study can be completed, you must ask several people to provide references stating their confidence in your ability to parent. When we went through the home study process, my husband and I were required to supply the following references:

3 personal references (at least one friend for each of us) 2 family references... more

From How to Prepare for a Home Study:

5. Get your finances in order.

A big part of the home study involves discussing your finances. The social worker wants to place the child into a financially solvent home. This does not mean that you can write a $30,000 check today to adopt internationally: You are not required to be a millionaire to adopt.

However, the social worker needs to make... more

From How to Prepare for a Home Study:

4. Consider your childcare arrangements.

During the home study, your social worker will ask you about childcare. I thought this would be a short conversation for us because I planned to quit my job and be a stay-at-home mom. While this did abbreviate the amount of time devoted to this topic, we still talked about babysitters and the importance of doing... more

From How to Prepare for a Home Study:

3. Research options for disciplining children.

During our home study, our social worker spent a lot of time talking with us about parenting issues. One of the most difficult to discuss was how we planned to discipline our child. Most of my friends had not given this topic much thought during their pregnancies or in the early weeks of parenting their infants,... more

From How to Prepare for a Home Study:

2. Think about adoption-related issues.

In the home study, the social worker will likely ask about your feelings on a number of adoption-related issues. If you can think about these issues ahead of time, then you can be prepared to talk intelligently about them.

When I went through my own home study, I had a lot of “hmmm…I never thought about that... more

From How to Prepare for a Home Study:

1. Learn all you can about the type of adoption you are seeking.

While a home study helps to educate you about the adoption process, it is a good idea to research the type of adoption you are seeking before you begin your home study. Each type of adoption has different issues to consider.

Older Child Adoption (Foster Care and... more

When I first shared my story about adopting my son, I said in Completing the Home Study that I could devote 3 months to blogging about home studies without running out of material. I stand by that statement. There is so much to discuss because the home study can be such a stressful part of the adoption process for hopeful adoptive parents.

Don’t worry: I am not kicking off a 3-month discussion of home studies today. Instead, I plan... more

One surreal part of nesting for an adoptive mother is having a baby shower. Attending baby showers was emotionally painful for me while waiting to become a parent. Then, with one phone call matching me with a placing mother, I was suddenly the guest of honor, receiving baby presents while sitting there with my “flat tummy.” It was bizarre.

An adoptive mother friend of mine feared that she would never have a baby shower because she might not have enough notice about a match to put one together. I assured... more