On my post, Adoption Agencies Referring to Expecting Mothers as Birthmothers, I incorrectly stated that it was not possible in any of the United States for a pregnant woman to be a birthmother because a woman cannot legally terminate her parental rights until after the baby is born. I have changed this statement to the following to make it accurate:

In a nutshell, a birthmother is a woman whose parental rights have legally terminated. This... more

On this blog, I frequently harp on the topic of keeping your integrity when entering into an adoption arrangement with an expecting mother. The reason for this is the frequency with which I read comments such as this one, which was posted on Closed Adoption: Pros and Cons:

open adoptions are not all cracked up to be what they sound like..i went through an agency to put my baby up for adoption, i figured since they were friends of my employer they would be true... more

In my last post, Adoption: Does Reluctant Spouse = Reluctant Husband?, I talked about how most spouses who are reluctant to adopt tend to be husbands. However, I also pointed out that many reluctant wives never agree to adopt in the first place, which skews the ranks of the reluctant spouses, making it appear that men are more likely to be reluctant about adopting than women.

Why are some women reluctant to adopt? Some have not yet grieved the loss of experiencing... more

When couples decide to adopt, there is often one spouse who is gung ho about adopting while the other is less excited about the prospect. Of course, there are exceptions, but frequently one person is much more eager to adopt than his or her spouse.

When we talk about this phenomenon online, we often talk about the "reluctant spouse." However, with most of the adoptive and hopeful adoptive couples that I know, we are really talking about a reluctant husband. I know many adoptive mothers, and every single one of them wanted to adopt. Some of the... more

My husband and I received the call right around Thanksgiving that we were matched with a baby whose due date was right around Christmas. As you can imagine, that was one busy time. Because babies are known for coming both early and late, we had no idea when to expect our bundle of joy. And because the expecting mother would have 10 days after the baby's birth to choose to parent, we did not know whether we would be spending Christmas with our forever child or not.

We made all of the usual preparations for anyone expecting a new baby, but I was really torn about... more

When my husband and I were waiting to adopt, it was hard to decide whether to make plans in advance. On the one hand, it could take a long time to be matched with an expecting mother, so there was no point in putting our lives on hold. On the other hand, we did not want to pay a lot of money toward a vacation, only to lose our deposit if we were matched quickly.

This issue became even more of a struggle during the holiday season. Should we plan on traveling to visit family in another state for Christmas? What if we were matched at the last minute? Even worse,... more

In my last post, "Perfect" Adopted Child and "Perfect" Adoptive Parent, I addressed some comments posted by Erin on my blog. I would like to address another issue that she raises in this excerpt:

Too often, I see parents choosing a child because they are cute and as young as possible and parents who want a child who will be highly intelligent with no medical, developmental, or behavioral needs. – Erin from Adopted... more

On my post, Adopted Children Come with No Warranty, a reader wrote the following comment:

I often wonder if parents ever consider that they may not be the quality of parents that the child would choose for him/herself if the child had the opportunity to choose. Too often, I see parents choosing a child because they are cute and as young as possible and parents who want a child who will be highly intelligent with no medical, developmental, or behavioral needs. However,... more

One health risk that I have never addressed on this blog is adopting a child with no health history available. On my post, Adoption Regrets: Health Risks on the Adoptive Parenting blog, John left the following comment:

Faith, there is another group of kids, probably unique to older child or international adoption, kids without any medical history. You are signing up for whatever may show up in the future. Its hard to see that as a decison, they are healthy now,... more

On my post, Avoiding Adoption Regrets, a reader posting the following comment:

One question that I have about parents interested in adopting is wondering if they are so much in a 'courtship' phase that they cannot hear what anyone tells them. Does it matter how firm their social worker is asking them questions about what they can and cannot handle? What is it that makes a difference for pre-adoptive parents to help them get into a good space where they can make the best decisions... more