During my series on Deciding to Adopt a Child, two readers left the following comments:

You know, Faith, the funny thing is that my family (me, my husband and son) get all those attitudes from others i.e. other people telling one of us how lucky my son is that he found a home and how saintly my husband and I are for taking in a poor hapless orphan. Other comments about how they know I'll have my "own" children one day instead of being "forced" to adopt again, and "you're lucky you could afford to adopt... more

During my series on Deciding to Adopt a Child, a reader left the following comment regarding adoptees searching for their birthfamily:

How can you protect a child from being too idealistic about their biological parents when just about everyone has an image in their head of perfect ideal parents? I just hope I can give my children enough of a foundation to help them... It's something that is on my mind often. – Chromesthesia from Deciding... more

During my series on Deciding to Adopt a Child, a reader left the following comment regarding adoptees searching for their birthfamily:

I'd support my child whole heartedly, but I'd want to protect them too. Especially if they came from another culture and country and have to return with this loss of language and behaving like a person that was raised there. I'd want to find a way to prepare them for that. In the case of foster care or addiction, depending, I'd want to fight these folks to keep... more

During my series on Deciding to Adopt a Child, a reader left the following comment:

Why don't they do it that way? Match AFTER the child is born and the mother has had all the time she needs to make her decision and to weigh the outcomes. Maybe it would reduce the amount of adoptions, but at least it would reduce failed adoptions perhaps... – Chromesthesia from Deciding to Adopt a Child:... more

During the home study process, you will be asked when (or if) you plan to tell your child that you adopted him. When is the best time to tell a child about his adoption? Let me start by telling you when not to tell a child about his adoption – on his wedding day!!

During my series on Deciding to Adopt a Child, a reader left the following comment:

When this topic came up in my home study class, the... more

How long are you willing to wait to adopt a child? No matter which method of adoption you choose, you are going to have to wait. I used to believe that adopting out of foster care was fast, but I know several adoptive parents who had to wait quite a while to adopt waiting children. Unfortunately, all adoptions include a ton of paperwork, and completing all of the paperwork and getting those papers filed with the right people takes time.

When I was looking to adopt in the late 1990's, I was told that the average wait to adopt a healthy newborn was 3-5 years.... more

In a perfect world, how many children would you like to have? This question can factor into the type of adoption you want to pursue. The adoption process takes a long time, no matter which route you pursue, but some avenues take longer than others do.

If you are already in your forties and want to adopt four children who are close together in age, you might want to consider adopting a sibling group out of foster care or adopting several children at the same time internationally rather than waiting to be matched with four successive expecting mothers.... more

What would you describe as your ideal adoption situation? The answer to this question is going to be different for different couples. Some people have preferences regarding gender, age, race or nationality, or level of openness. Other people do not care about some of those issues but really want to parent a child with a particular special need, such as reactive attachment... more

Adoption.com's Self-Assessment Adoption Quiz asks a very important and insightful question about being reluctant to adopt:

27. Deep down do you feel like you are being forced to adopt if you want to have children, adoption as a means to build a family is "second best," or that adoption is your "last resort" if you want to be able to have children?

This is a very important question to ask yourself, and you need to be very honest... more

Are you still pursuing fertility treatments? Do you plan to do so while you also pursue adopting a child? Why are you continuing to pursue fertility treatments?

Many adoption agencies will tell you that you cannot pursue fertility treatments while you pursue adoption. They want you to put that chapter of your life behind you before you begin the adoption process. One reason for this is that they want you committed to adopting a child. If you get pregnant during the process and a child or an expecting mother has already matched with you, what will you... more