From Top Ten List: Adopting an Abused Child...

7. You can help soothe an abused child through flashbacks.

When an abuse survivor experiences a flashback, he is living in a dual reality. A part of his brain is aware that he is in his bed safe in his room. The other part of his brain is reliving the trauma and all of the associated fear and pain. If your child will come to you when he is experiencing a flashback, there is a lot you can do to help him through it.

The first thing to remember is that a flashback is a normal aftereffect of trauma. As terrible as a flashback feels, it is actually a positive thing because the brain is releasing the trauma that has been held inside for so long. Once this flashback is “out,” it loses its power. It is no longer influencing every aspect of the child’s life.

You can use this dual reality to your advantage. Even as the child is reliving the trauma, he knows that you are there beside him. You can tell him that he is not alone. Tell him that he already survived the abuse – he is okay and safe with you now. Put on some soft relaxing music to soothe him through the flashback. If your child does not experience flashbacks unless alone, you can give him some of these tools to use when he experiences them.

Flashbacks can also be experienced as vivid nightmares. When traumatized children talk about having nightmares, they are much more intense than the nightmares experienced by other people. This is the way a child’s subconscious is working through the trauma.

The scent of vanilla can be very soothing for a child struggling with flashbacks, so you might want to consider putting some sort of vanilla-scented item in the child’s room. (As an adult, I use a vanilla-scented candle, but I would not recommend that for a child due to the fire risks.) The scent of vanilla reduces stress and anxiety and reduces the startle reflex in both humans and animals. See The Smell Report for more information about the scent of vanilla.

For more information on flashbacks and dealing with recovering from trauma, check out the book Trauma and Recovery by Judith Herman.

Related Topics:

• Top Ten List: Adopting an Abused Child


• Assessing Health Risks: PTSD; RAD


• Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder


• A Totally Awesome Article on Traumatized Children