People used to say that to me all the time when my husband and I decided to end our quest to have a biological child and instead, started making plans to adopt.

Here's what I used to say:

"That's not going to happen. After 5 miscarriages I don't want to be pregnant ever again." People always used to wince at that, especially those who didn't know my history (and probably had no business making any kind of fertility related comment to me).

Here's what I was thinking:

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yeah, right. As if I even want to be pregnant! I've been pregnant, trying to get pregnant, losing a pregnancy, or taking fertility drugs that made me feel pregnant for 3 years straight! How stupid are you?"

Fact is, getting pregnant does happen to people after they adopt, but not all that often. When I wrote about this in my other blog a couple of weeks ago I discovered that the fact is that between 3 and 10% of adoptive parents get pregnant after adoption...but this probably had nothing to do with the adoption. In other words, they probably would've gotten pregnant anyway.

Under 10% probability? No thanks.

I found an amusing essay on adoption.com about stupid comments people make about adoption. Among the "Five Hot Buttons Not To Push," listed in the article, telling people they'd get preggers after adoption was a biggie. Here are some funny but sad scenarios around the topic:

Everybody in my life knows that my significant other is a woman and that we want to be mommies. So, when I told my oldest sister that we were planning on adopting, she delivered the usual line about getting pregnant now that we've decided to adopt! So I told her no, we've stopped all treatment. We're building our family through adoption. She insisted, "Oh no, you won't need treatment. You'll get pregnant now that you are going to adopt." I finally just said, 'Do you know how babies are made?'

"Once you adopt you will soon become pregnant!" That is impossible since I had a complete hysterectomy. These people who say this to me, knowing I had the surgery, are down right mean. How cruel!

My mother and my mother-in-law both really believe that once I adopt I'll get pregnant. In fact, I hear this from everyone I tell that I am trying to adopt. Sheesh, pregnancy after adopting only happens in about 5% of the cases & who knows what their fertility problem was.

My mother-in-law added the best comment to this one. "If you adopt and get pregnant I am not coming to Ontario to help you with babysitting!" My response is "THANK GOODNESS!"

But it's not all bad. Marni checked in to report, "On the other side, I told one of my oldest/dearest friends (whose wife is thirty-two weeks along with their second baby) that I almost felt like I was pregnant. His comment? 'Well, you are an expecting mother.' Now, that's what I call a great comment."

Amen.