One factor to consider when choosing an adoption agency is how the agency treats its placing mothers and birthmothers. Does the agency pressure women into placing their babies for adoption, or does it help the placing mother to consider all of the options and pursue what is best for her situation? Our agency offers free parenting counseling to any pregnant woman who comes through their doors. Of course, the agency discusses adoption as an alternative, but it also provides free counseling to prepare the mother to parent her child if that is what she chooses to do. The agency’s focus is on providing good homes to children. If a woman with an unexpected pregnancy seeks out parenting advice, this agency provides it free of charge.

How much counseling does the agency offer the birthmother before and after placement? Our agency offers free counseling throughout the birthmother’s lifetime. Our son’s birthmother talked with the social worker a lot during the end of her pregnancy and immediately after birth, but then she went on with her life. However, a few months after placing Nicholas for adoption, she dropped by the agency for an unannounced visit. The social worker visited with her and offered her support – no questions asked.

Another consideration is how respectful the agency is of the placing mother’s preferences and needs. Does the agency allow the placing mother to select the adoptive parents, or does the agency “assign” the baby to the next name on the waiting list? Does the agency work with the placing mother to match her with an adoptive family with the same values, such as desired level of openness, religious views, or whatever else is important to her? If the placing mother does not want the hopeful adoptive parents to come to the hospital, will the agency respect this wish? The answers to these types of questions will tell you a lot about the level of respect that an agency shows to placing mothers and birthmothers.

Why should you be so concerned about how the agency treats its placing mothers and birthmothers? When you adopt, you are establishing a connection not only with the child but with the birthfamily. If the child chooses to reunite with his or her birthfamily, the birthmother might become a part of your life as well. How she is treated needs to matter to you. Also, you want to adopt a baby from a woman who WANTS you to parent her child. You don’t want to be a part of wrenching a baby from the arms of a woman who has this decision thrust upon her. Each of us has a responsibility never to condone pressuring a woman to place a baby for adoption.

Related Links:

• Choosing An Agency - Part 1


• Choosing An Agency - Part 2


• Choosing An Agency - Part 3