Today is my birthday - yay me! I'm 112, as I told my son's carpool buddy. I don't look a day over 82! No, actually I'm 38. Judging from the 3-way mirrors in Target yesterday I don't look a day over...38. Boo. My slow descent into middle age ain't sitting well on me.

If you know anything about horoscopes you will know that I'm a Sagittarius. I don't really believe in the whole horoscope thing but the description of a Sag mostly fits me to a T:

Sagittarians have a positive outlook on life, are full of enterprise, energy, versatility, adventurousness and eagerness to extend experience beyond the physically familiar. They enjoy travelling and exploration, the more so because their minds are constantly open to new dimensions of thought. They are basically ambitious and optimistic, and continue to be so even when their hopes are dashed. Their strongly idealistic natures can also suffer many disappointments without being affected. They are honorable, honest, trustworthy, truthful, generous and sincere, with a passion for justice. They are usually on the side of the underdog in society they will fight for any cause they believe to be just, and are prepared to be rebellious. They balance loyalty with independence.

C'est moi. To be sure. Also:

They love to initiate new projects

and

are strong-willed and good at organizing

and this is sadly very true:

They can, however, be impulsively angry and both male and female Sagittarians know how to be outspoken and exactly what expressions will hurt their adversaries most.

also - two of my negative characteristics:

Tactless and restless.

There's a bunch of other stuff about Sags being blindly religious to the point of rigidity and that is simply not true of me - unless I think of it in a non-traditional religious way, which is that I have very specific religious beliefs that aren't going to be corralled by traditional religion...in which case it fits. I'm also not irresponsible in the least, which seems to be a Sag characteristic, but maybe that's only when Jupiter is rising (or whatever).

Finally, this is from another astrology website about the Sagittarius WOMAN:

She's not always going to say the kind of things you want to hear. Most of the time, she'll curl your sideburns with her remarkable, flat statements and her embarrassing ques­tions. But now and then she'll say something so special and splendid it will make you feel like singing.

Ummmm....yes. That's me. I am the queen of tactlessness, but also directness. It depends how you want to look at it whether it's a good or bad thing. Maybe FRANK is the best way to put it.

Read more of this random, drivel-filled post in part 2...