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I was lucky enough to get an interview with Yumi Heo, author of the wonderful book for children, Ten Days and Nine Nights. The book itself, reviewed last month on our site, is a beautifully drawn, beautifully told story written for the child already at home as the parents prepare to adopt a child. While this story was written specifically with Korea at heart, I’m of the opinion that it could be used as a great way for any parent to start an adoption dialogue!
As such, I jumped at the chance to interview the author. I love knowing what makes people write certain stories as well as to pick their brain for a little “more” than what the story offers us. I thought the readers here on the Hoping to Adopt blog could benefit from some of the answers as well.
The interesting thing is that Yumi is not specifically touched by adoption. She mentioned that in the author note of the book but shared a little more with me as to how adoption has been a running theme by chance.
Many years ago I encountered a teenage Korean boy who was adopted. He was by chance, one winter weekend, my skiing instructor and after spending the day speaking with him I have been interested in adoption ever since. This interest was reinforced some time later by viewing a T. V. show about a Korean woman who was adopted when she was 7. When I first came to America I worked part time at a Korean Newspaper company and I recall being quite moved when I illustrated an article about a Korean adoptee who was a teenager, confused about her identity.
I then asked how parents might use this book, specifically about Korean adoption, to start that dialogue. She went on to say that “even though this book is based on a Korean family” the adoption process is similar in many countries. She says, however, there is a common theme.
the feeling of waiting for another family member to arrive is so thrilling and universal.
I think that’s spot on. Getting children involved and excited about anything is usually a good way to ease into a transition. (Especially the big, life-altering ones like the arrival of a new sibling!)
Yumi then went on to compare her own journey to that which she has seen many adoptees deal with as they process their own identity. I felt it was an interesting look from the outside in.
In a way I, myself, was adopted into western culture. It has been 20 years since I came to America. When I visit Korea, I experience a confusion of identity, a sensitivity to the notion of whether I am a Korean or American. Whenever I do feel that way, I tell myself that I am especially lucky. I have two different cultures which I can embrace and which bring much more richness to my life than either one alone ever could.
This piece of the interview struck me most. Whether your child is coming to you from an entirely separate country and culture or you’re adopting from the same state and culture as your own, your child will have two stories to embrace. You, the potential and waiting adoptive parent, can do your future child a big favor by learning more about the adoption process, the cultures that are involved and what you might do to best guide your child on this journey. Furthermore, for a child already at home, whether adopted or biologically born to you, should also be involved in some of that learning and preparation. Don’t forget that children are far more resilient and knowledgeable than we give them credit. They can understand complex issues if explained in simple ways. Helping your children learn and identify with things going on in their lives is actually one of your jobs as a parent. Finding things like books and other activities to open that dialogue can make the learning seem a little less tedious!
Speaking of books, we’re giving away three copies of Yumi Heo’s book Ten Days and Nine Nights right now! The giveaway launched last Monday and ends today, the day the book is available for purchase.
So who are our lucky winners?
1. magichat (via comment on post)
2. beccers (via comment on post)
3. eft4adoption (via twitter)
I’ll be contacting the winners for shipping information shortly.
Thanks to all those who took the time to enter. I can’t recommend this book for siblings enough! Pick it up as it is now available to purchase!
Photo Credit: 2009 Yumi Heo.
