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In the beginning, there is research. And part of researching is asking questions – lots and lots of questions. So, what questions do you ask an agency? I can think of a few…
- Do you provide international adoptions, domestic adoptions, or both?
- If you do international adoptions, in which countries? Of those countries, for which are you currently accepting applications?
- If you do domestic adoptions, do you have specific programs for those adopting children who aren’t Caucasian? Children with special needs? Waiting children? Foster children?
- Do you work with adoptive parents who are single? Are single men able to adopt?
- Do you work with adoptive parents who are gay or lesbian?
- Do you require adoptive parents to be a certain religion or to hold certain spiritual beliefs?
- Do you work with adoptive parents in states other than your own? If so, which states?
- Do you have any other requirements for adoptive parents? (For example: age limits, length of marriage, proven infertility, number of children in the home, previous divorce, disability, a certain level of openness, etc.)
- Which services do you provide? Home studies? Matching with expectant parents? Expectant mother counseling? Adoptive parent counseling? Legal services? Post adoption support? Other?
- Do you require adoptive parents to take training or classes?
- Do you allow adoptive parents to specify gender?
- Do you allow all adoptive parents to adopt a child of any race?
- Please provide a range of the fees you charge and when you charge them.
These are what I call the basic questions. Once you get answers to these questions, you’ll likely have more questions to ask the agencies who make your cut.
- How many adoptions do you complete in an average year?
- Do you network with other agencies or adoption professionals? For what purpose? (That is, do they network for expectant parent referrals, services in other states, home studies, legal services, support services, etc.)
- Approximately how many waiting families do you have at any one time?
- How do you decide which profiles to show an expectant parent?
- Do your fees vary based on the race of the child being adopted?
- Can you give me an idea of how many expectant parents choose to place versus how many choose to parent?
- Can you give me a more precise breakdown of your fees?
- What type of support can I count on during and after the match and adoption processes?
- Do you require that all communication between myself and the expectant parents go through you? What about after birth and placement?
From my experience, agencies aren’t going to tell you flat out how many failed matches they see. The truth is, a lot of expectant parents are going to call and ask for information. Many of them will not call back. Agencies have different ways of spinning what a failed match or failed adoption means. You want to make sure they’re treating expectant parents with at least the same amount of respect that they treat you.
With regards to fees, some agencies essentially discount children who aren’t Caucasian. Some people find this odious, and refuse to work with these agencies. Some are more pragmatic. This is certainly an issue worth exploring (but that’s another post).
Many agencies show prospective adoptive parent profiles based on criteria that expectant parents give them. For example, a woman may ask to see two-parent homes with at least one other child, who live in a certain area or practice a certain religion. However, some agencies still have the concept of a list, and will show profiles of those people who have been waiting longer first, even if newer profiles are a more exact match for what an expectant parent wants.
You’ll want to add questions that are important to you as well. There is no such thing as too many questions! Ask them all, even the “stupid” ones.
