If you have a “past” of some form, you might worry about how it will affect your ability to adopt a child. I just completed a series for adult survivors of childhood abuse who might have concerns about the adoption home study process. In addition to a history of being abused, there are many other background concerns that you might have when beginning an adoption home study.

In browsing the forums, I found other background concerns, such as a history of alcoholism or eating disorders. Members are concerned about whether they will be prevented from adopting because of these histories.

In a nutshell, it is your present, rather than your past, that is being evaluated. It is the social worker’s job to determine whether your issues are, in fact, in the past. If you got help for an eating disorder 20 years ago and have not had any issues with it since, then your history with eating disorders is probably not going to be a factor in approving you to adopt. However, if you just got out of drug rehab last week, then your history will likely raise a red flag.

The number one priority in approving a hopeful adoptive couple is ensuring that a child would be safe in the home. If a hopeful adoptive parent is currently struggling with drugs or alcohol, then a social worker cannot be certain that a child would be safe in his care. A social worker might require the couple to stay sober and in therapy for a period of months or years before approving them to adopt.

Another possible issue is multiple divorces. While a past divorce is not necessarily an indicator of a future divorce, it is a red flag to a social worker. You might be required to be married for a certain number of years before you can adopt through a particular agency, especially if either party has a history of divorce. This is to ensure that the marriage is stable. We do not want to place children into homes that are likely to break apart in a couple of years.

Our social worker told me that social workers like therapy. They like to see people taking steps to heal from their pasts. If you have a history that might affect your ability to adopt, seek out a qualified therapist who is experienced in counseling people with similar issues. Your therapist can be your strongest ally in convincing the social worker that you will be a good parent despite your history.

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