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I recently wrote about involving the children already in your home in the adoption process. I was mainly speaking of older children as it can be a hard concept for younger children to grasp. I’ve always thought that there was a general lack of resources for parents waiting to adopt who already had children at home. This book, Ten Days and Nine Nights by Yumi Heo, is an answer to that problem.
The book was written for children in the 4-8 year old age range. I can tell you that my three year old son, who has a three year old understanding of where his relinquished sister is and why, was able to understand this book with a few readings. In a very three year old manner. (According to him, right now, you get babies at the airport. Hmm. We need to read it again, maybe?)
In short, the big sister is the main character of this book. Throughout the book, she marks off days on her calendar as she waits for the arrival of her new little sister. First she says goodbye to her Mommy (who is heading to pick up her baby sister). She then does some crafts. She helps her grandparents redecorate. She practices with a baby. New furniture is purchased and put together. She washes her old teddy bear to give to her sister. The make clothes. She tells her friend. And then, finally, no days and no nights are left.
Throughout the book as well you can see the mother going through the various adoption steps. Taking off in the plane. Arriving at the office. Going to the orphanage. Flying back home with the new baby. The steps are all there and, without many words, room is left to talk about these steps.
The drawings are fabulous. (My favorite being the one of the mother arriving back at the airport wearing the new baby sister in a front carrier. Of course that’s my favorite!) The colors are lovely. It’s just very well put together.
One could argue that this book would only be beneficial for adoptive parents with a girl at home. Or adoptive parents adopting from Korea. Or only white parents. Or yadda yadda yadda. The truth is that no book will ever totally encapsulate what your story is about. And so, your challenge is to buy different books with slightly different stories and introduce those stories to your child while simultaneously weaving what your story is into your child’s understanding. That sounds far more challenging than it is because we so rarely give enough credit to kids. They’re so resilient!
In the end, I think that Ten Days and Nine Nights is a great story to add to your young child’s library if you are waiting to adopt. The more you talk with your child about adding another child to your family, the easier the transition will be for the lot of you. Books can help you start that dialogue and you can fill in the specifics of your story as you continue along your journey.
Ten Days and Nine Nights is available for pre-order on Amazon right now. It will be available to purchase on May 12, 2009.
Photo Credit: 2009 Yumi Heo.
