As we continue this series on open adoption, we will focus on the varying levels of openness and the pros and cons for each member of the adoption triad. We will start with closed adoption and work our way through the continuum.

In a closed adoption, there is no contact whatsoever between the birthmother and adoptive family. Closed adoptions were the norm for a very long time, so the general public tends to expect adoptions to be closed.

I want to add my disclaimer again – This list is assuming that the child was placed by a loving birthfamily. If the child was removed from an abusive household and placed for adoption, then a closed adoption would have an added benefit of protecting the child.

Pros

• The adoptive family looks and operates like any other family.


• The adoptive family has no responsibility to put together information for the birthmother.


• There is no potential for conflict between the birthfamily and adoptive family throughout the adoptee’s childhood because there is no relationship at all.


• The birthmother has no obligations toward the child. (This can be a pro for a birthmother who truly does not want any obligations or information about the child.)

SPONSOR

• The adoptive family does not have any information about the birthfamily, such as medical history or why the child was placed for adoption.


• The birthfamily is a big mystery to the child, so the child might create his own distorted fantasy about who they are. The child might imagine that they are wealthy and famous, or the child might assume that they are really horrible people, when neither of these extremes is likely to be the truth.


• Due to lack of information, the child will draw his own conclusions about why he was placed for adoption. Some children will conclude that they were rejected by the birthfamily.


• If the child chooses to search, the adoptive family has no idea what to expect, creating anxiety about who the birthfamily might turn out to be.


• Finding the birthfamily can be difficult.


• The birthmother has no idea if the child is happy, safe, and loved.


• The birthmother has no way to reassure herself about placing the child for adoption because she has no information about how the child is doing.


• The fact that the adoptive family and birthfamily do not know anything about each other can breed distrust and fear, which can create issues if the child decides to search for the birthfamily.

To understand a birthmother’s perspective on closed adoption, check out Birth Mothers in Closed Adoptions in the Birth/First Parents blog.