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I recently read the Newsweek article, “Coerced Reproduction“, and it threw me for a loop. First, I had never thought of abusive relationships in this light. Second, a similar situation may be playing out for a friend of mine and her child’s birth mother.
The article discusses women in abusive relationships. Some men want to control women to the point that they force them to stop using birth control. The article states that men even track their partners’ periods to be sure they’re not on Depo-Provera shots. Teenagers may be more susceptible to reproductive coercion, especially if they’re in relationships with much older men.
This study of 1.300 female patients in North Carolina may help explain previous findings of “higher rates of unintended pregnancies in relationships with partner violence.” According to the study, about 30% of women reporting partner violence experienced reproductive coercion.
It never occurred to me that an abusive man would want to get a woman pregnant. I would think that a baby would just be more trouble for him. But at the same time that I read this, a friend told me about her situation. Her child’s birth mom has a habit of getting into abusive relationships. She’s now pregnant, and she’s hesitant to tell her latest ex about the baby. Apparently, the ex told her that if she ever did get pregnant, he wouldn’t “let her adopt the baby out”. Now, the birth mom is freaked out, because she believes the ex will use the baby to control her. She’s contemplating naming a male friend as the baby’s biological father. In her state, even though she has proof of abuse, it’s not enough to prove the man an unfit father. In the next state over, however, a judge might very well accept police reports and other evidence to sever the relationship.
It’s strange how real life and the printed word can converge and make sense.
I’ve heard a lot of anecdotes about expectant mothers purposefully not telling the biological fathers anything, or completely lying about who the biological fathers are. I’ve never understood that. At the same time, I thought that the system was somehow set up to protect women running from abusive relationships.
The article and the situation have caused me to think about everyone involved in such a situation. It reminds me that there really are millions of stories and situations, and laws don’t always cover them.
(I’m also reminded to never read the comments on a Newsweek article. Trolls, misogynists, and idiots, most of them.)
