One of the most common misconceptions, or stereotypes, of adoptive parents is that they could not have a child of their own.

If you are one of those that cannot have your own...you know how it feels to hear people keep saying "but I've had 8 miscarriages, and then had 3 children...you should keep trying!".

Although we know that their comments, most generally, are well intentioned...who REALLY wants to go through 8 miscarriages?

I've had 2 diagnosed, but I suspect I've had 5 (3 other times I've had the symptoms of miscarriage following late cycles). They're NOT a good thing.

You fall in love with the baby, start getting your brain prepared for it, and then, nothing. Your heart aches and no one seems to understand, except for others that have gone through miscarriages.

And then, the folks that try and try and try, and NOTHING happens.

Are you tired of hearing "DON'T give up, God will give you a baby when it's meant to be!"

Now, I don't proclaim to be religious or not. However, I get SO tired of hearing about God's will when it comes to my plans for a baby. Especially when there are young children out there having sex and getting pregnant. Why was it God's will for THEIR life to be turned upside down by a pregnancy?

Then, once you share your adoption plans, you get the "watch...you'll see...you'll get pregnant after you adopt." Ok...I DO understand the correlation of stress and pregnancy. However, they make it sound like that is why you SHOULD adopt. UGH

My problems with fertility, well, I kind of dispute that I have "infertility". I'm not in denial. Don't get me wrong.

I DO have PCOS, and I do have fibroid tumors. I have known this since I was 24. VERY young for at least the fibroids.

However, I do not have the symptoms of either, except for the severe pain and rapid weight gain and sometimes I do get facial hair.

However, my cycles are not excessive, they are like clockwork, and attempts to get pregnant are successful. I can get pregnant so easily, that we avoid ovulation time now...why? Because of the fear of more miscarriages.

I guess the point of all of this rambling is to let you know that you are NOT alone. We feel the same emotions. It is not a bad thing. I know...I know...the thoughts are bad, but it is perfectly normal.

I encourage you to read up on the subject...if nothing else...to know you're NOT alone...and there is support if you need it.

Here are some resources for you:
Choosing adoption after infertility
Adoption After Infertility

Until Tonight,
Storm