I would like to start by sharing my own story. This isn’t because I enjoy talking about myself. (Well, that’s not entirely true – bloggers do enjoy talking about themselves. LOL) I want you to know that I have been where you are and that I did not go into the adoption process having all of the answers. Also, I am hoping to shed light on the many different issues that can arise along your adoption journey.

I was the “good kid” who had her entire life mapped out. I was a straight-A student. I met my husband while we were both attending a top-10 university. We had our lives all planned out. We were both going to work and then, after 5 years, we would have a baby – preferably a daughter – and I would be a stay-at-home mom. We would have our son two years later so that the children would be close in age. We would have a house, two dogs, and a white picket fence. It would be a modern-day “Leave It to Beaver” kind of life.

Well, you know what they say about the best laid plans…

I never doubted that we would conceive right away. My sister had no trouble getting pregnant, nor did any of my cousins. My husband and I were both young and healthy. Besides, I had a PLAN!

Discovering that we were infertile was a HUGE blow to us. Since this is not an infertility blog, I will skip over the details. Suffice it to say that after 3 surgeries, 22 IUIs, Clomid migraines, shots, and Progesterone depression, I was ready to give up on my body ever “making” a baby.

My infertility doctor gave me a pamphlet that talked about the resolution of infertility. It said that my quest would ultimately end in one of three ways:

• I would become pregnant.



• I would choose to live a child-free life.



• I would adopt or foster a child.

Of course, I just KNEW that option #1 would happen, but after the weeks turned into months and then into years, I knew that option #1 was just a dream. That left the other two choices. Option #2 simply was not going to happen. I could not imagine my life without a child. I was willing to do ANYTHING (well, anything LEGAL) to become a mother.

That left Option #3. It was definitely a feasible option for me. I had been interested in adoption since I saw the movie “Pete’s Dragon” as a kid. I thought it was really neat that Pete needed a mom and Nora needed a kid. I saw them as a family at the end of the movie. It did not matter that Pete did not grow in Nora's body – they were family.

The brochure said the words that I needed to hear. It said that I needed to decide whether my goal was to become pregnant or to become a parent. If my goal was to become a parent, then there was more than one way to make a family.

So, I asked myself, “What IS my goal? Pregnancy or parenthood?” I realized that my goal was to become a mom. It did not matter how that happened. I was ready to switch gears. Unlike infertility, where I was sinking more and more money, time, and emotion into a bottomless pit with no guarantees, adoption would be a “sure thing.” I would know that there would be a baby at the end of the process, whereas infertility was this looming gray fog with no definitive answers. I was ready to take the plunge. The question looming before me was, “Would my husband be on the same page?”

Next post

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If you would like to read the story about my fertility procedures, read my blog at FertilityBlogs.com.