Are you still pursuing fertility treatments? Do you plan to do so while you also pursue adopting a child? Why are you continuing to pursue fertility treatments?

Many adoption agencies will tell you that you cannot pursue fertility treatments while you pursue adoption. They want you to put that chapter of your life behind you before you begin the adoption process. One reason for this is that they want you committed to adopting a child. If you get pregnant during the process and a child or an expecting mother has already matched with you, what will you do? (My answer would have been that I would have one child through birth and one through adoption, and I would have been the happiest woman alive!)

That being said, you are not required to remain celibate in order to adopt, and there is always a chance (no matter how remote that chance might be) that you will become pregnant during the process. So I, personally, do not believe that an agency has the right to tell you not to pursue fertility treatments while you also pursue adoption. Also, from a practical standpoint, how would they even know?

However, there is a good reason not to pursue both at the same time. Both fertility procedures and the adoption process are emotionally draining and challenging. Each is its own marathon: Trying to run both at the same time can be incredibly draining. Also, where will your priorities lie? Do you want to have hot flashes in the middle of your home study interviews?

I actually did pursue both at one point in time. After we had been waiting to adopt for about a year after completing our home study and having very little interest shown in our profile, my husband suggested that we pursue fertility treatments again with a different doctor. We did this for four or five months, and it was draining. I felt like I was being rejected from two directions every month as both my body and the adoption agency failed me in my quest to become a mother. Little did I know that my forever child had already been conceived in another woman's body.

Related Topics:

• Deciding to Adopt



• When to stop trying to conceive



• How to Approach Adopting After Infertility

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