Infant adoption, child adoption, domestic adoption - Deciding to Adopt a Child: Ideal Situation

10/03/07

Deciding to Adopt a Child: Ideal Situation

Posted by : Faith Allen in Hoping to Adopt Blog at 05:32 am , 364 words, 163 views
Categories: Deciding to Adopt

What would you describe as your ideal adoption situation? The answer to this question is going to be different for different couples. Some people have preferences regarding gender, age, race or nationality, or level of openness. Other people do not care about some of those issues but really want to parent a child with a particular special need, such as reactive attachment disorder. Other people want to make sure they do not adopt a child with a special need. The answer to this question is as varied as are different families.

To help you describe your ideal adoption situation, think through the answers to the following questions, noting "no preference" for any to which you are indifferent:

Agency, adoption attorney, or facilitator?

Domestic or international?

Healthy or special needs? Which special needs?

How much contact with birth family?

How old?

Private or foster adoption?

What gender?

What race or nationality?

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As I pointed out in my Adoption Decisions Series, adoption is filled with decisions that need to be made. In addition to the questions I posted above, there are many procedural questions you will want to consider, such as –

How expensive?

In-state or out-of-state agency?

Match with expecting mother before or after baby's birth?

Open, semi-open, or closed adoption?

Religious or non-religious agency?

What type of payment plan?

…and the list goes on.

One of the hardest parts of adopting is having to make so many decisions. If this is your first time adopting a child, you are asked to make numerous decisions without having all of the information you need to make informed decisions. (This is where sites like adoptionblogs.com come in. You can find the answer to just about any adoption question here!)

Think through how you would define your "ideal" adoption situation. Then, go through your list and determine which aspects you are willing to compromise and which you are not. Doing this exercise before you begin the adoption process will be enormously helpful during the home study process.

Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: Chromesthesia [Member]

I can't really think of an ideal situation.
Any situation will involve a certain degree of frustration, maturity and hard work as well as its own rewards.
I don't think I am ready to deal with an older traumatized child before I have had more experience with children. There's so many things I need to learn about how to deal with a child in pain, but an infant from the age of 1 month to 12 months would have issues of their own to deal with. Grief, the typical baby stuff and so many other things. The pull for a baby is quite strong though.
I'm doing more research on special needs and needs I can and cannot handle.
I seem to be leaning more towards adopting a boy at first because they have a harder time finding homes for some reason, but I am open to any gender or any race...

But, for some reason, as an African American, it seems a bit odd to me if i were to end up with a Caucasin child for some reason I can't figure out. It wouldn't be unacceptable, just a bit odd and I don't totally know why. But any child I end up with regardless of age or race will have a family with me and whoever I end up with...

This went a bit too long... and I hope I do not offend anyone...

Permalink 10/03/07 @ 18:41

Comment from: Faith Allen [Member]

· http://hoping.adoptionblogs.com/

I am so impressed with how much thought you have put into this process. Many adoptive parents just dive right in without doing a lot of research. (I was one of them!!) Your child will be very blessed to have you as a parent. :0)

- Faith

Permalink 10/03/07 @ 19:51

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