Today is the most dreaded day of the year for hopeful adoptive mothers everywhere – Mother’s Day. Please know that you are not alone and that I have you in my thoughts and prayers today. (Birthmothers and placing mothers – You are in my thoughts and prayers today, too.) This day will pass. You might feel absolutely miserable right now as you are reading this post, but this day is going to end. When you wake up tomorrow, this day will be behind you and will not drop another emotional “bomb” on your life for another year. I am hoping that each hopeful adoptive mother who is reading this post will be a mother by this time next year so that this day can become a special day about celebrating YOU.

Have you put together a list of coping strategies to get you through the day? If you haven’t done so already, look over your list so you won’t have to think about what to do if/when the pain backs up on you. Be kind to yourself today. Give yourself the time and space that you need to grieve. The things on your “to do” list will still be there tomorrow. (However, if keeping busy takes your mind off of your pain, then by all means, do your to-do list!)

I have some terrible Mother’s Day memories from my “waiting to be a mom” days, and most of them happened in church, of all places. I thought that going to church would make me feel better because I usually find a lot of comfort in my faith. So, I went to church one Mother’s Day, and that one hour in the sanctuary turned into an endurance test for me. First, there was the Mother’s Day insert in the church bulletin, which listed the names of hundreds of mothers in the congregation. I chose not to read it. Then, the pastor asked all mothers to stand and be recognized. I was the ONLY thirty-something woman who remained seated while I choked back my tears. Young children sang a song for the mothers – another heartbreak to see those little children, knowing that my child would have been among them if I had not been infertile. The sermon was all about celebrating mothers. The final touch was the youth group giving out carnations to all mothers as we left the sanctuary after the service ended. Of course, the teenagers assumed that I was a mother because of my age. I could not bring myself to take the flower, so I declined it, which hurt even more. That was a miserable day. I stopped going to church on Mother’s Day after that until I had a baby in my arms.

I know the pain of this wretched day for women who desperately want to become mothers, and I am so sorry that you know it, too. Please know that I keep all “mom wannabes” in my prayers each Mother’s Day. Nobody deserves that kind of pain.

Related Topics:

• Surviving Mother’s Day Series



• Surviving the Wait Series