When approaching the variety of options available regarding adoption often Foster Adoption is overlooked. Many people are unaware that Foster Adoption is even a possibility. There are two very distinct options when wanting to adopt through the foster care system. The first and most commonly known is Foster to Adopt. This process usually involves agreeing to be matched to a child that still has legal ties to one or both birth parents. A foster to adopt situation often involves a high possibility that parental rights will be severed in court in the future. When you agree to a foster to adopt situation you understand that there is a possibility that the court may choose to return the child to his or her birth family. Often there are still biological relatives such as grandparents who have yet to determine whether they desire to raise the child. We have seen a situation where a bio grandmother who had never seen the child popped up out of nowhere and fought for nearly two years to gain custody of her granddaughter. That case happily ended with a decision to allow the baby to be adopted by the foster family with regular visits with bio-grandmom. Foster to adopt is a wonderful option for those willing to accept the risks involved.
Foster Adoption is a completely different option with no risk of losing children who are placed with you. Often the children available in foster adoption are older children but in many cases can be as young as 18 months. In many states the foster adoption process does not require you to become a licensed foster home. You will have a thorough home study and a home inspection to ensure your home and family are a good match for the prospective child. Most states have a photolisting of children who are waiting for an adoptive home. If you find a child in the photolisting that you think might be a good match for you, contact the agency and ask to speak to the adoption worker handling that child’s case. The worker will be able to schedule some time to sit with you and discuss your situation. This person will also be able to walk you through all of the specifics regarding adoption in your state. In Kansas, where we live, we went through a free 10 week parenting class that helped us to understand the needs of children who have been in the foster care system. We initially wanted to adopt an infant due to our age (we were both 26 at the time) and our lack of parenting experience. We learned so much in our class and eventually found that we felt our hearts opening to older children who were waiting. We began our class in October and our first child was placed in our home just four months later. We actually met him and started the visitation process with him before we had even completed our class.
There are many myths about what type of home you need to have in order to adopt children from the foster care system. The first is that you must foster them before you can adopt them. We have never been a licensed foster home and our boys stopped being foster children the moment they were placed in our home. We signed an Adoption Placement Agreement the day before each of them moved in and they officially left the foster care system. Six months later we went to court and finalized the adoption. Another myth is that you need to own your own home and have lots of space in that home. Again, this is not true. As long as you can show that you have a stable living space and can provide a room for the child, even if it is shared with a sibling, you will be okay. You can also foster adopt if you are a single parent. Often children who have been abused really need a home that does not have a parent of the same gender as their abuser. Single moms and dads are just as needed as married couples. You do not need to be married for 3-5 years to adopt and your age is not a factor if you are a good match for a particular child.
Another grand myth is the expense of adoption. When you adopt through the foster care system in your state, there are no expenses for you apart from the items you may wish to purchase for your child such as furniture and clothing. In fact, the state will even reimburse you for mileage during the visitation stage. Most states also provide the state medical card for your new child all the way through their eighteenth birthday.
As with any adoption option, foster adoption should be approached carefully. Get all the information you can before you make a decision. Know that kids coming from foster care, just as with children from orphanages around the world, often have very difficult issues that you as the parent will need to accept before saying yes. No child is perfect and these kids need a lot of special care but if we can do it, so can you! Before you make a decision about how to grow your family, thoughtfully consider the children who are waiting in your area. One of them might be waiting for you.
What an informative and all around great post! When we started the adoption process I called our local Children’s Services and got some very bad information! She actually used some of the very myths you spoke about. Once I learned the truth about foster adoption, we were already deep in the process of adopting from Ethiopia. While I wouldn’t change a thing, I wold liked to have had accurate information to make my descion upon! Thanks for this post and welcome!