Fully Open Adoption: Pros and Cons

In a fully open adoption, the birthparents and adoptive parents exchange identifying information. Beyond this, it is up to the parties involved to determine how much interaction there is. In some open adoptions, there is no further contact, only the ability to contact each other if either party chooses to do so. In other open adoptions, there is an ongoing relationship between the parties.

Pros

• The adoptive family receives a medical history and information about why the child was placed for adoption.
• The child receives truthful information about his birthfamily, so there is no need to fantasize about who the birthfamily might be. If the open adoption includes visitation, then the child knows who his birthfamily is.


• The birthparents can reassure the child directly that he was not “rejected” by his birthfamily.
• There is no need for a search when the child is grown. The parties either already have a connection or know how to connect with each other.
• The birthmother is reassured firsthand that the child is happy, safe, and loved.
• The birthmother knows how the child is doing, so she is able to reassure herself about her decision to place the baby for adoption.
• Because the families have been connected throughout the adoptee’s childhood, the child has no big decision about whether to search for the birthfamily or how to assimilate the birthfamily into his life.
• The child can ask his birthparents directly about any questions he has about his adoption.

Cons

• Both the birthfamily and adoptive family take on the responsibility of establishing and maintaining a relationship throughout the adoptee’s childhood. (This can be a pro or a con, depending upon the parties’ attitudes.)
• The birthmother might experience pain in seeing her birthchild relating to the adoptive parents as “mom” and “dad.”
• The adoptive family might feel insecure at first about the birthmother’s role in their family.
• The birthfamily might disagree with the adoptive parents’ parenting decisions.
• The adoptive family or birthfamily risk the other party not following through on their promises.
• The adoptive family might not receive support from extended family and friends for maintaining a relationship with the birthmother.
• Both parties might struggle with setting boundaries and expectations for how the open adoption will work.
• Arrangements can get complex, especially if more than one child is adopted into the home.
• If more than one child is adopted into the home, there can be issues with one birthmother being more involved than the other, which can be difficult for the adoptive family in helping the child with the less involved birthmother to not feel rejected.

For more information about open adoption, check out the Open Adoption blogs. Open adoption is also discussed quite a bit on the Birth/First Mothers blogs.

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