From How to Prepare for a Home Study:

2. Think about adoption-related issues.

In the home study, the social worker will likely ask about your feelings on a number of adoption-related issues. If you can think about these issues ahead of time, then you can be prepared to talk intelligently about them.

When I went through my own home study, I had a lot of “hmmm…I never thought about that before” moments. I am better at thinking about my feelings and then writing them down. I am not “quick on my feet,” so each unanticipated adoption-related question was disconcerting for me, especially since the home study process itself already made me nervous.

Here are some of the issues that you should think about ahead of time:

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• Do you plan to tell your child that he was adopted? If so, when will you tell him?



• Will you tell him from the beginning, or will you wait until he is a certain age?



• What information will you share with your child, and what information will keep from him?

Feelings about Expecting Mothers and Birthmothers

• What is your opinion of expecting and birthmothers?



• How do you feel about an expecting mother before the adoption?



• How do you feel about a birthmother after the adoption?



• What role, if any, will she have in your family?



• Do you feel like you are “in competition” over which is the child’s “real parent”?

Reuniting with the Birthfamily

• How will you feel if your child chooses to search for his birthfamily?



• Will you help him with his search?



• Will you discourage him from searching?



• Do you think that there is a benefit to the child to reconnect with his birthfamily?



• At what age would you feel it is appropriate to search?



• If your child reconnects with his birthfamily, how will they fit into your life?

These are some very hard questions to face, especially when you are just starting out the adoption process. I had trouble making plans for what I would be doing in the next several months. Being asked how I would handle something that might not happen for 18+ years felt overwhelming to me.

Fortunately, the social worker is there to help you work through these issues. It is not her role to tell you what to do: It is her role to raise the question and help you to think about these issues.

The more you think through these issues ahead of time, the easier it will be to have answers during the home study. Also, instead of trying to come up with a quick answer that “sounds okay,” you will have thought through these issues and reached an answer that is right for you.

Related Topics:

• Completing the Home Study




• Home Study




• Encyclopedia of Adoption: Home Study




• Home Study




• 10 Things You Want To Know Before Doing Your Homestudy