From How to Prepare for a Home Study:

8. Brainstorm issues that could raise concerns (and brainstorm solutions).

Most of us have not led lives like Ward and June Cleaver. If we examine our lives, we can identify areas and experiences that might raise a red flag for a social worker who is evaluating our ability to parent. Red flags do not necessarily mean that we will be declined as adoptive parents: They just mean that the social worker will need to investigate that we have “fixed” the problem.

Before you start the home study process, think about the areas in your life that could raise a red flag. Then, brainstorm “solutions” that will reassure the social worker that those issues will not affect your ability to parent.

Possible issues can come from a number of directions. Have you filed bankruptcy in the past? Then focus on ways to show that you are now more financially responsible. Did your first marriage end in divorce? Think about the ways to show how stable this marriage is.

Show the social worker that you have learned from your past and that your marriage is stronger because of the life lessons that you have learned. Some people learn life lessons the hard way. The important thing is to show the social worker that you have, in fact, learned the lesson.

Perhaps you were raised in an abusive environment and are no longer in touch with your extended family because of this. This, in and of itself, will not prevent you from adopting. However, the social worker will want to see that you have taken steps to heal from you childhood trauma.

Entering therapy for childhood abuse is seen as a good thing, and a letter from your therapist stating that your issues will not affect your ability to parent will be very helpful. Even though your extended family is no longer in your life, you can talk about the friendships that you have developed who fill this need in your life.

What if you have battled a deadly disease? I know a woman who adopted after battling cancer throughout her childhood. Her medical history definitely raised a red flag, but it did not prevent her from being approved to adopt. However, before approval was given, the woman needed to provide documentation from her doctors about her life expectancy.

There are, of course, no guarantees about how long any of us will live. However, a social worker does not want to place a child into a home where the parent is likely to die in the next few years.

Few people go through the home study process with no baggage. Life is filled with baggage: The difference is that most people don’t have their baggage examined before becoming parents. The life experiences themselves are not as important as how you have handled those life experiences.

Related Topics:

• Completing the Home Study




• Home Study




• Encyclopedia of Adoption: Home Study




• Home Study




• 10 Things You Want To Know Before Doing Your Homestudy