Hoping Again

The title of this blog – “Hoping to Adopt” – somehow implies adopting for the first time. However, those who are adopting for the second or third, or even eighth time are also “hoping”.

No two adoptions are alike. I feel that the phrase “typical adoption” is a misnomer – there is no such beast. You can’t talk about the “typical” birthmother, because what most people think of as “typical” is actually “stereotypical” (but that’s another post).

The first time we adopted, I did two years of research. We signed with an entity that we thought would guarantee us professional, compassionate, ethical help in bringing our child home. We found that everything we thought we knew, what we had counted on, was false. Immediately, we began talking about making sure it didn’t happen the next time. And when I say “immediately” we were talking about this in Denny’s at midnight two days after Jack was born. We knew then that we had to somehow figure out why our process had gone wrong.

Adopting once prepares you in some ways for adopting again. You have a sense of the process. You’ve been on the roller coaster. But it prepares you in the same way that riding the Go-Go-Gadget Coaster prepares you for Space Mountain* – you know basically what you’re getting into, but the twists and turns are completely different.

I know of many people who started out looking into a second international adoption, only to be affected by the constantly changing regulations. Now, they’re hoping to adopt in the US, which is a completely different process.

I wonder how many of you who read this blog are hoping to adopt your second, third, or eighth child. Are there any topics you’d like to see? Any experiences you’d like to share?

* I’m a Disney freak, but to satisfy both my husband and my fellow blogger Jenna, I’ll make this analogy: It’s like riding the L’il Phantom to prepare you for the Phantom’s Revenge.

Photo Credit.

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