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We are hoping to adopt again. At least, 3 out of the 4 of us are. My two boys and I would like a little girl…my husband is somewhat reluctant. Or maybe I should say very reluctant. He hasn’t shut the door completely, though, so it’s still a possibility. I feel like our family isn’t complete yet. He feels like it is, and furthermore, we have enough on our plate. But if a little girl just falls into our laps – well, we’ll both be there to catch her with open arms.
I know that little girls don’t just fall into your lap, however. Adoption doesn’t usually work that way! But maybe, just maybe, he’ll feel different in a year or two.
Here’s a little about our situation, in case you aren’t familiar with my other blog: Adopt from Russia, my husband and I adopted our second son, “Little J” from Russia 2 years and 8 months ago. Little J was 15 months old when we adopted him and he will be 4 in a month. Our older son, “Big J,” is 7, and he’s biological. We came to adoption because I had a number of miscarriages after having Big J and since the doctors couldn’t determine what was wrong with me, neither could they fix it. Surrogacy or more advanced fertility treatments (like IVF) were out of the question for us. Adoption seemed like the logical way to add to our family.
At the time we started thinking about adoption we immediately figured we’d adopt domestically. We did not have the money to adopt internationally, or so we thought. But when we visited a local agency we were told that not only would our costs probably be similar, the process of adopting internationally, specifically from Russia, was much quicker than it would probably take us to adopt domestically. So that’s what we did. It worked out wonderfully for us.
Would we go to Russia again? Not sure. The process is considerably longer now and the cost has only gone up. What we were told at the agency about domestic adoption taking years and costing the same as international may not be completely accurate. I’ve been talking to different agencies and organizations and I think we may take a different approach if I ever convince my husband…but I’ll share that as that time grows closer. Between the 4 of us we seem to have some parameters that may complicate and extend a placement, either domestic or international. I want a girl, my boys would need a child younger than them so as to preserve birth order, and my husband would feel most comfortable with a Caucasian child. We also are in a different financial place, so unless someone dies and leaves us a great deal of money (hopefully someone who had lived a long, full life and whom we didn’t even know we were related to) I think Russia will be out of the question.
The kind of child we want is probably the most difficult child to locate. But I hold out hope – I am a glass-half-full type of person.
In this blog I hope to cover all different types of adoption: domestic through an agency, domestic/independent, international (all nations), foster-adopt, and adoption by family members. I hope to be able to provide good information and insight into the process, drawing on my many friends who have families created by adoption as well as the many internet resources that are available.
I’d love to know what you think I should include. If you have any suggestions for topics I need to cover or answers to questions you have please put it in the comments field or e-mail me at hopetoadoptblog2@adoptionmail.com.
Adrienne,
This reminded me of something funny that happened last week. I was looking at our newly adopted 7 month old son and day dreaming about a bigger family. When my husband got home from work I asked him how many kids he thought that we could handle. He then said, “I don’t think that we can handle the two that we have!” Oh well! Time will tell.
Adrienne,
Glad to see someone picking up this blog. We have two sons who we adopted domestically (both born locally) with two different agencies. We are eagerly awaiting our third match. We have had excellent experiences with our first two adoptions, however I am kind of white knuckling this third one (can a third adoption really go without a hitch?). Look forward to tuning into you.
Your blog sounds so much like my story. I, too, want a baby girl. I have twin 16 year old boys and always wanted a little girl to complete our family. We, too, looked into foreign adoption but couldn’t stay out of the country for the length of time that was required. I still wake up in the middle of the night crying. Others tell me that longing for a child will go away over time…..Well like I said it has been 16 years and is still as painful as it originally was. My family has been doing foster care and that has helped a bit. I will continue to pray for that special little girl to fall into our laps and cry at night from the pain that she didn’t come that day. I know how you feel. I hope that you have better luck than I and your dream comes true.