The title of this blog entry refers as much to me as to you, my wonderful readers. For I have inherited this blog with no real plan as to how to proceed. My other blog, Adopt from Russia, seems to have a certain structure to it. After all, I've been through it. But this blog? No structure. No plan. Just some hope and a computer screen.

Yesterday I wrote about how my family came to adoption. Now I want to write about you. I'm going to make some assumptions about you, many of which I know won't fit everyone, but many of which will fit many of you.

Assumption #1: You are hoping to adopt, or perhaps you are thinking about hoping to adopt.

Assumption #2: You are in the beginning stages of the process. You haven't figured out how or where you will adopt.

Assumption #3: You are beginning to explore adoption as an option to create or expand your family, and you're reading this blog because you think I might provide basic and comparative information that will help you decide what to do.

Assumption #4: You want to adopt because you want a child. Maybe you can't have a biological child for whatever reason, or maybe you're done having bio-children, but you're missing someone in your family and you want to fill that empty spot through adoption.

That last assumption perhaps seems kind of a "duh, no kidding" thing to for me to write. But I include it because I think it needs to be said. I don't think people should adopt because they think it's the right thing to do. I don't think they should adopt because they want to save a poor unwanted child. I think people should adopt first and foremost for "selfish" reasons - because they want a child to add to or to create a family. If you adopt for any other reason, then I think you'll be disappointed.

I hope that makes sense. Of course I think it's possible to adopt a child for my self-proclaimed wrong reason and then fall in love with them, but I guess what I'm trying to say is if you see adoption as some kind of humanitarian mission you are in big trouble. That kid is probably not going to be as grateful as you want them to be for "saving" them. (We've seen how great this kind of thinking has worked for our government, haven't we?)

I don't think that adoption should first and foremost be about them - it should be about you.